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Ultra, ultra white teeth. I’m talking new toilet bowl porcelain white.On Breaking Bad Jesse smoked meth and cigarettes regularly, but somehow miraculously was able to maintain a dazzling white smile.
Women waking up and the hair is perfect, the face looking perfect and glowing even if they’ve been up all night. Yeah, right. Even young women will look rough in the morning
Girl gets injured — maybe knocked unconscious. Guy picks her up and carries her, princess style, miles and miles to safety. Maybe up a mountain, maybe through the woods, maybe just a few blocks down the road.Anyone who’s ever carried anyone knows it’s super hard. The strongest man I know can’t carry me more than, perhaps, a block. And that’s being generous. And I’m really good at being carried — I don’t lie there limply. I use my arms and core to take some weight off the guy’s biceps and put it onto his shoulders.In real rescue situations, you’d typically have say, six people carrying one victim — with other rescuers to sub in when they got tired.
One’s outfit, makeup, and hair style always match.Fat people are rare.Houses are either big, beautiful, and perfectly decorated, or small, ugly, and messy.Funerals seem like fancy occasions.People go through glass - easily - suffering only minor scrapes.Money is seldom a reason to worry.People are in the mood for sex soon after being involved in traumatic situations.All lawyers go to court.All crimes are solvable.People brush their teeth without slobbering.
I won’t go so far as to say that this never happens, but…In television and movie “passion” scenes, the guy always grabs his partner—clothes ripping, buttons popping and flying across the room, and shoes hanging from lamps.The guy then proceeds to enter his partner with zero preparation—no tender touches, no foreplay, no condoms… no anything.And despite all of these factors, both parties dissolve into screaming mutual satisfaction within two minutes.This has never happened to me. Nor has it happened to anyone that I know.No concern about contraception? Diseases? Caring about your partner’s needs?I want to know where the notion came from that this is realistic for most people… but then again, we’re talking about entertainment—not real life.I guess that’s the point.
People spending all of their time hanging out at the coffee shop (practically living there) ordering food and laughing day and night without having to worry about work or any other normal daily activities whatsoever.
Forensics. Attending a crime scene or post mortem while not wearing a hair net, safety goggles, face mask etc. Because if you’re a hot young pathologist, you’re more concerned with looking good than contaminating evidence or having corpse fluids on you
An Indian boy likes a girl, the girl doesn’t know it. He wants to express his feelings.What he will do?He will stalk her in the college or school. He will stalk her in the mall while is shopping. He will stalk her while she is eating food. He will stalk her in the library. He will stalk her in the other country too. (Where the female lead is spending her honeymoon with her fiance, he still doesn’t stop.) He will stalk her to the bathroom, yeah we are Indians we don’t spare any space. And then what happens?*Drum roll please.*The girl falls in love.This is the concept of 99% of Indian movies.
When a couple kisses for the first time, everybody around them applauds.Women wear bras to bed, under their night gowns, and full make-up.High schools are full of 25 year old students.When people brush their teeth, they never rinse their mouths. They just spit and go.Business people and professionals drink whisky, neat, constantly, regardless of sex, age or culture. Often they toss back 4 to 6 ounces without having any apparent effects.People never say please or thank you - especially thank you.Nobody ever finishes a meal - especially breakfast. They get loaded up with pancakes, bacon, eggs and toast, and then they leave it untouched. They also never take more than a sip of their giant glass of orange juice.People are really nasty to each other - yell, say hurtful things - and yet there are seldom repercussions either personally or professionally.Characters live in apartments or houses that would cost much more than they could afford.Medical shows are meticulously researched (to the point that medical students study shows like House), but in crime shows, mrder and s***de methods are frequently all wrong. Ditto bomb building. (I’m not complaining.)
Let’s talk about movie gun fights.Because they are ridiculous.In a real gunfight a guy never walks down the middle of an open street. Standing up tall just shooting and not reloading.Meanwhile, his enemies have him surrounded, are behind cover, shooting at him and missing over and over again.Somehow Denzel just strolls down the street returning fire, landing head-shot after headshot with every round he fires.It’s beyond science fiction. He would have been dead and the movie would have ended after 5 minutes.Don’t believe me? Ask any military vet.
You shoot the gas tank of the car that is driving away and it blows up. Almost never actually happens in real life.
Everyone is always invincible.Fall off a roof? You’re fine.Got shot ten times? Just brush it off.Tom Cruise doesn’t die after crashing this car off a 30 foot drop.Unless specifically asked for in the script, everyone can take a beating with little to no damage. Someone gets shot? Ah no problem, they can take it and continue fighting and eventually beating the villain.Now, excuse me while I go beat up 20 guys on my own. I have anger issues. Don’t ask.
This one just slays me: two people lustfully tear each other’s clothes off and make breathless, passionate love, coming to magical, mutual orgasm after a whopping five seconds. I’d like to visit THAT world.
Everyone you know just being in the same room. (I’m looking at you, sit-coms)Now if you arrange a get together, I can see most of your friends being there. Probably not all, a few people have work or need to pick up someone from the airport. I can also see maybe three or four people who all know each other just happening to be in the same place at the same time with no particular arrangement, it happens, particularly if you live close together.On a regular basis? With no apparent three-day notice, prior planning, or reason? I mean, not one of these people has anything else to attend to, has a cold, a date, or just doesn’t feel like it?I can’t speak for anyone else, but to get my entire group of friends to turn up to a coffee house takes more than just casually showing up there and hoping for the best. Hell, give me a week to notify everyone, some a**hat will cancel at the last minute.
After six seconds of CPR, victim spurts forth from the jaws of death. Generally, victim then coughs politely, and starts making conversation.In real life? CPR won’t restart a heart that isn’t beating. It won’t bring a person back from the dead. It’s just the enabler: it forces blood and oxygen to keep circulating around the body, and minimizes cell death until a defibrillator or medicine can restart the heart. (Or get it back into a normal rhythm.)Also… in real life, CPR is ugly. You hear and feel ribs crunching. (It’s worth it - keep going!) It’s also exhausting. So much so that, per research, after 2 minutes, even experienced rescuers need to switch out, because the quality of CPR declines so much from fatigue.
People running out of a restaurant without paying the bill. You see this a lot on cop shows when they get a call, or when someone has to leave quickly-they just run out. I can recall only a few instances where you actually see people paying for a bill at the end of a meal.
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- Actor staggers through desert, finally makes it and finds water. Takes tiny sip of water. Well, you aren’t supposed to drink too much at once if you are dehydrated (you’ll throw up) but really? I think it’s because they like to do multiple (11 or so takes), and you can’t chug a whole bottle of water every time.2. Actor staggers through desert, finds case of water, drinks some and the pours rest over head. Who would be so stupid?3. Actor is wounded and they do one of the following: a) Pour alcohol on it. Dumb idea. No doctor would tell you to do that. Water only (and no hydrogen peroxide, either. These are for disinfecting scars (H2O2) or for disinfecting healthy skin beforehand or for something like a shots and have no purpose for open wounds except damaging surrounding tissue and killing white blood cells). b) Cauterize the wound. Terrible idea. It kills surrounding tissue and creates problems later, like gangrene. c) Pour alcohol on it, then cauterize it. You might as well just stab them again. It’s only there for drama.4. Jumping cars. If you jump a car without a carefully-planned down ramp, you can expect so much damage you will not be able to continue. It works for monster trucks, not Camaros.5. Punching people straight in the face full-force without breaking their hand. Then they do the same thing 20 more times in the fight that lasts 5 minutes.6. Beat up the criminal, then run away without taking the gun. I think anyone would have enough presence of mind to take the gun even in a panic situation. After all, they just beat up the criminal, so they can’t be in full flight mode.7. Alcoholics either a) have lots of alcohol in the cabinet or b) leave the table without finishing their drink.8. Soldiers give long machine-gun blasts. That’s called “spray and pray,” and you’ll be out of ammo in no time. Trained soldiers use short bursts.9. Characters go to someone’s house to talk to the rather than just call the on the cell, e.g. Buffy the Vampire Slayer.10. Actors, while driving, continuously move the steering wheel left and right.
People turn up at the right place at the right time. Believe me, in real life, this is not the case.Conversations seem to follow a script. No kidding.People dress in a way that perfectly suits them.Smokers are immediately seen as evil. Unfortunately, many perfectly nice people smoke in real life.Catchphrases. No one actually has them. Seriously.Perfectly clean rooms. SO far from the truth.(On American Shows) Everyone drives an American car.Every male character looks like they work out every day.Every female character looks like they’re ready for a photoshoot.Jokes are laughed at every time. I wish this was the case in reality.
The bad guys are always shooting at the good guys with multiple machine guns, hitting everything in sight, but somehow missing them completely.Sly is the bad guy here.And the good guys are shooting with hand guns, but always drop the bad guys with a single shot.And often from on the run.Makes me crazy.
Students spending waaaaaay more time in the hallway/corridor than in their classrooms.It’s always the casual congregating point. Yet in real life, students have less than 5 minutes to migrate from one class to the next and there are often major consequences for tardiness.
FIGHT SCENES do not last five minutes. Real life fights on average will take all of one minute. And usually ends with one blow.You will never be able to just punch your opponent in the face multiple times. It just doesn’t go that way. Not too many of us are karate experts.The fight will start out with both parties posturing in your typical boxing stance. After about thirty seconds it becomes a wrestling match, or a hug fest.YOU CANNOT OUTRUN THE POLICE. You can watch all the NASCAR you want, buy the fastest mustang. And you will never be able to outrun the police.
Closure. Every movie or series has a beginning and an end. Events get neatly wrapped up regardless of the complicated script and intense drama… all in a few hours time.In real life, we want and expect closure for the pain and suffering we experience. People may even spend their entire lives seeking closure, just like in the movies, but all to no avail. There is no true closure for as long as one lives. The script goes on, often handed down for generations- not for an ending, but for expanding…
In popular sitcoms like F.R.I.E.N.D.S and How I Met Your Mother: Common Hangout Spot.In both the shows, the characters almost always hangout at the same hangout spot; MacLaren’s Pub in How I Met Your Mother, Central Perk in F.R.I.E.N.D.S.In F.RI.E.N.D.S, the gang occupies the couch and in How I Met Your Mother, there is a favourite booth for the gang.And they never have to fight for the seats as the seats are always unoccupied.This is quite unrealistic as in reality there’s no Carl or Gunther to save our favourite spot for us.Also, do you guys ever go to work?
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Aivaras Kaziukonis
Linas Simonaitis
Entertainment
