In this day and age, we are obsessed with red flags. For good reason, avoiding something horrible before it affects us tends to be a win-win situation. Unfortunately for the vast majority of the population, oftentimes, truly important red flags are only visible to those outside of the situation.Someone asked, “In-Laws of Reddit: When did you realize your kid’s marriage was doomed?” and folks from across the internet shared some of the worst things they have seen. So get comfortable, prepare to roll your eyes as you scroll through, and be sure to upvote your favorite stories.This post may includeaffiliate links.
In this day and age, we are obsessed with red flags. For good reason, avoiding something horrible before it affects us tends to be a win-win situation. Unfortunately for the vast majority of the population, oftentimes, truly important red flags are only visible to those outside of the situation.
Someone asked, “In-Laws of Reddit: When did you realize your kid’s marriage was doomed?” and folks from across the internet shared some of the worst things they have seen. So get comfortable, prepare to roll your eyes as you scroll through, and be sure to upvote your favorite stories.
This post may includeaffiliate links.
Probably when he punched my daughter square in the face in front of our entire extended family.
Was the sister-in-law. The first time she and I went somewhere together she said, “Your brother’s kind of been pissing me off lately. Do you think I should cheat on him again?” To which I asked if he knew about the others and she informed me he did not. I told her, “He will now.” They divorced shortly after.
Sister-in-law here. I’d say it was when he pushed my sister into a thornbush over a petty argument the day after they got married.
A few months back my sister married a super nice guy. They hadn’t been dating that long, like right under a year. They were super happy and looked like a perfect marriage. So the perfect happy couple got married and literally 4 days after being legally married sis calls me crying an screaming that newly wed husband is attacking her. As the heroic little brother I rush over to her place as fast as I can burst inside to see him and her having a stand off in the living room he’s bleeding holding a knife and she’s screaming bloody murder so I think my sister is about to be stabbed to death so I grab the .38 off my hip yell at him to drop the knife, he spins around I blast a round into his left thigh he’s screaming blood everywhere I call 911. Police, paramedics, EVERYONE shows up.Turns out that my sister and him had a dispute about her ‘guy friend’ at work she’s always texting. Sister gets mad stabs husband with knife husband somehow wrestles knife away from my lunatic sister tries to calm the situation and I bust in the door and shoot the poor bastard. Great guy didn’t press charges we got it settled all nice like I paid his medical bills and they divorced, I gained a new best friend with a bullet scar and I don’t really talk to my sister.
The moment someone told me they were having a child to save their marriage.
When the actual father of their youngest child came forward to demand a paternity test… he won.DNA test on older child also showed no genetic match. No surprises here.
When she was kissing another guy in one of the wedding photos.It didn’t go over well.
When my sister told me he tearfully confessed to her on their wedding night that he had murdered and buried someone in the desert. After she urged him to turn himself in, he told her he was only joking.
When she tried to tell us that cooking m*th in a self-made underground complex beneath his shed in the backyard made him a “self-starting entrepreneur.” And this guy was not Walter White, genius chemist from New Mexico. This was Ricky from Alabama who got his GED at 24.
When he brought his wifeandhis girlfriend to Thanksgiving brunch.
Before she ever got married, when she told us she was going to help him get over his substance abuse problem.
When they decided to get married when he was in boot camp…. Through mail. They married the week he got out. And divorced 4 months later…
Sister-in-law here.I was 7 years old when my sister’s new boyfriend walked into our house, took one look at the fish tank and asked, “how do they breathe?” He was at least 20 years old at the time.They stayed together 8 years, 2 of those married, before divorcing. He’s a meth addict, and my sister is remarried with a beautiful family now.
I was the brother in law.She would call me all the time when I lived in Maryland to complain about my brother. When I lost my job and moved back home she was constantly pulling me aside to have small conversations.When we went out one time she sat down next to me and asked me “Which guy in the bar I would be okay with her cheating on my brother with?”
When he caught her [sleeping with] a coworker…. on their anniversary.
When he refused to go somewhere with her because it was outdoors and he doesn’t walk on grass or dirt.
When he told me she didn’t like gynecologists or birth control because they caused cancer, but it’s fine because she was pregnant anyway. Flabbergasted, I asked why? And he said her mom wants grandkids.Jesus I can’t wait till he wakes up.
SIL here. Late to the game so this will be buried deeeeeeep.On their wedding day when my sister was walking down the aisle he was looking everywhere but at her. He looked bored and uninterested.Then the final nail (for me) was when he tried to convince another of our sisters to fool around with him. She was estranged with oldest sister and knew if she told her older sister would just blame her or claim she was making it up to cause drama.The marriage officially ended after he got a vasectomy behind her back bc he got his mistress pregnant and she found out. His other kid is the same age as their middle child.The saddest part is he had adopted her oldest kid, so now my niece has had 2 dads wash their hands of her. Her bio wanted nothing to do with her, and her adoptive one is a s**t parent who acts like it’s a burden to take care of his kids.
Sister-in-law here. Realized it when my sister got a stalker and her husband did nothing but make fun of her despite how terrified she was. I think she’s going to wait until their kid is 18 to divorce him.
Ah I thought they’d never make it down the aisle but sadly they did. Some things that tipped me off:- He wouldn’t have sex with her for two years for reasons that are totally-not-related-to-the-fact that-he’s-attracted-to-men-instead.- He treats women like s**t, including his fiancee.- It’s his way or the highway ALL THE TIME. Like “either we stay at this hotel or we break up."- He put them into debt equal to about 2 years of their COMBINED salaries.- He bought stuff for himself all the time but wouldn’t buy her a wedding ring.- He had very specific ideas of what the wedding should look like and wouldn’t let her have any input.And yet I was considered an negative Nancy for thinking they wouldn’t work out.
Not me but a co-worker knew that her daughter’s relationship (turned marriage then domestic abuse now divorce) would end badly when the first time she saw the place they were living together he showed off their bed as quote “This is the place where I plow your daughter” only to be reenforced at a party later where he told a group of strangers with the mom present “If she could swallow then I wouldnt have to mess up her make up every night”. It was ‘a joke’ off of something about the daughter coughing. Who the fk says that st in front of your SO’s parent?
It was Christmastime and my sister and her husband were buying gifts at a mall. They stopped at a little cart selling spiced nuts. They bought some. They also each got to have a sample one. She was holding both his and hers and he asked her to hold some stuff for him and to free up her hand, without really thinking, she ate his sample nut. Even though they had just bought a package of them, he lost his f*****g mind about it and wouldn’t speak to her for the rest of the day because she ate his sample. His anger was always disproportionate like that. I knew it couldn’t last much longer at that point.
When she decided to give most of the groom’s male relatives very sensual and passionate lapdances during the after party.
My step-bro married a girl still in high school…. doomed before it started. It was in Mississippi. he was 24 she was a few months shy of 18. she was definitely not mature for her age.
We all knew the marriage would fail before they even said their vows because he strangled her one night during a fight, and he was a drunk, and an a*s.
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My brother was married to a compulsive liar. I honestly didn’t think the wedding would go ahead but it did and then the marriage lasted about 18 months. I was a bridesmaid and in the week leading up to the wedding I was trying to track down my bridesmaid’s dress with the store my ex-SIL said she had ordered them through. Couldn’t get any info out of the store, so the Tuesday before the wedding my Mum & I went down to the store to find out what the . The store had no record at either one of their locations, Mum blew up and lost her temper at the poor girls that worked there. We went away to calm down and call the bride-to-be to get to the bottom of it, turned out that she had never ordered the dresses to begin with (and pocketed the deposits both bridesmaids had given her for the dresses). We had to go back to apologize to the girls in the store. Over the next few days we found out she hadn’t booked a photographer or bought the flower girls dress either. I thought for sure my brother would cancel the wedding but they talked it all over and it went ahead. 18 months later she cheated on him and that was it, they separated. A lot of dirty laundry and secrets came out in the break up, including how she had being hiding bills and not paying others.He is so much better off without her, and I’m really glad that they didn’t end up having kids even though they were trying when she cheated on him. He has since met a wonderful girl, who he is happy living with on the other side of the country and is now at university studying. She was really holding him back.
When my almost sister in laws grandma was telling me stories about her great great grandson. I quickly realized it was the almost future sister in laws son. My brother didn’t know about him at the time. Her Grandma was on her second neat scotch when she let it slip. Thank goodness for scotch.
I moved in with my sister, her husband, and their kids after high school. He started hitting on me and would tell me he “wished he could work out a trade-in program so he could marry me instead” and would say that in front of their kids. One night we were all in the car when he got a call from another woman (over Bluetooth so we all heard everything) and he just kept saying he was with his family like he was trying to keep her from saying anything that’d implicate him. A few years later, she served him divorce papers but he refused to sign. Then one night while she was working 3rd shift, him and his buddies took a bunch of stuff from the house, including the fridge. All so she couldn’t take anything when she left him. But he bought a mini fridge to replace it, so there’s that. It was endless amounts of BS.
Sister-in-law as well.When they were dating and my brother slapped her across the face hard enough that I heard it down the hall. He and I brawled till he left, I put her in a cab and told her I liked her enough that i never wanted to see her again.When she came back three days later I knew it was going to get ugly. Surprise pregnancy ensued, wedding happened 3 months later.Years of therapy for everyone involved.
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My sister is married to a guy 6 years her junior and well she just got pregnant and I’m currently watching them just slowly blow up. Oh and he doesn’t speak our language and barely any English. So my prediction is when they finally understand one another it will go badly and the worst part is it will probably somehow wind up my fault despite the fact that I told her from the beginning that it was a bad idea.
My grandma says she knew my ex-aunt wasn’t gonna work out when she called Gucci “the Wal-Mart of purses.”
Oh gosh. When she threw my late grand father’s antique camera at my brother’s head while they were fighting. She missed, but broke my mother’s cabinet.Yeesh. Relax, and talk it out folks!
Brother in Law caught cheating 2 weeks before the wedding. They had a rushed wedding because his girlfriend was pregnant. 2 weeks before the wedding he put an ad of himself on Craigslist (with a d**k pic and face pic) looking to get laid and one his ex’s contacted me about him stalking her and sending pictures of himself looking to hook up. Everything was laid out to his new wife but she denied everything.It actually got flipped around on me because he told his wife and my wifes family that I was the one to put the ad on CL. Oh well.He has a new girlfriend that pops up every couple months but then he tells the family that his new girlfriends are all crazy and that he doesnt even know them.
When they mentioned off hand that they don’t sleep in the same bed, and apparently haven’t had any form of sexual relations in over 6 months.
SIL here and I knew when they announced their engagement. I had met her before and she had seemed a little high-strung, a little immature but seemed like an ok person and she and my brother hadn’t been dating very long. I hadn’t seen her in a setting where others were suppposed to be the center of attention. We were at a close family friend’s rehearsal dinner. Brother brought his girlfriend as his date. The groom’s family had picked this nice Italian restaurant that had needed to be reserved months in advance. Bro’s girlfriend tried to get everyone to change venues because she “felt like Chinese food.” When she didn’t get her way she showed up to the restaurant pouting, arms folded, lower lip out. She snarled at the waiter that he had better have Pepsi or she was “going to fk st up.” She ordered the most expensive item on the menu and then refused to eat it. As in it sat there untouched while she scarfed down her fifth Pepsi. Then in a moment of silence from the rest of the table, she slid her engagement ring on her hand under the table lifted it up and screamed, “I’m engaged!!” At the top of her lungs and said, “I bet you all are sorry now you wouldn’t let me have Chinese on my engagement night.” My date convinced her to let us take her out for desserts at a little bakery up the street with the goal of getting her out of the restaurant hoping everyone else could give attention to the actual bride and groom of the weekend. As we were leaving, brother’s now fiancée turned to my parents, her future in-laws, and said, “Don’t think I don’t know you all don’t like me.”
My brother’s fiancé makes him pay for everything. Every time they ate out, every time they went shopping, and the down payment for their house. She doesn’t mind if it’s a small house or if they don’t eat out often, but she and her parents refuses to pay for anything because “they’re very traditional” and paying is the man’s job.
The marriage was performed in Vegas. With no family. That was red flag 1. Red flag 2 was the time they spent apart. Husband had 2 jobs. To keep food on the table. The wife worked part time, but spent all her small checks on bingo and getting drunk every weekend. Red flag 2. They had 3 kids before they got married, didn’t want any more kids, so the husband got fixed. Well one of those weekends she was getting drunk she hooked up with someone. Found out she was prego a few weeks later.
Grandma in law.Before they were even married. Difficult to explain this so please bear with me…Grandson was a whole entire person, didnt need other people to ‘complete’ himself. What he needed was someone who could live a parallel life next to himself. She was one of those people who have a void inside them that needs someone else to fill it. I knew this would suck the enjoyment of life from my grandson…lasted 1 year and there were hardly any happy times for either of them. Divorced now and he’s a happy person again who has hopefully learned what he doesnt need in a relationship.Personally I feel marriage is an archaic form of social control and cant understand why people buy into it. If youre happy with someone you spend your life with them or at least part of it.
They aren’t divorced yet, but it’s inevitable. Sister married someone who seemed like such a great guy at first. Good job, polite, etc. They rushed into marriage and she got pregnant quick. While he’s not a “bad” guy in the general scheme of things, he’s not great either. He never, ever offers to help out at family gatherings. While my mother is rushing around preparing a meal for 12 when everyone’s in town to visit and everyone else is asking “what can we do to help?”, he sits on his butt for hours without offering a smidge of assistance. He expects my sister to watch their kid 24/7 and do everything else, all while his contribution to child-rearing is praising his son and saying things like “what a big boy….you’re so handsome”. If he’s specifically asked to do something “chore-like” involving his child (change diapers, put him down for a nap), he gets frustrated immediately if it doesn’t go smoothly and hands his kid off to my sister.Heard through the grapevine that behind closed doors he berates and calls my sister names for the most menial things. Hasn’t turned physical as far as I know. They were in marriage counseling within 3 months of getting married.It may not be this year, it may not be the next 5…but the divorce is inevitable.
Sister-in-law here:The red flags were many (and neon, possibly visible from space) but the biggest one for me was the day I first met her. She was younger than me (my brother is 10+ years my senior) and she asked me if I thought he’d get a credit card with her. She had a laundry list of things she wanted. I did the math and they were in excess of 10K.If there is a runner up flag, it’s the day my dad died about two months after I met her (and four months of brother and her being dating). She went into her boss and started a fight, losing her job. She demanded to ride in the family car (cause girlfriend of 4 months totally counts apparently). She told my brother she was pregnant that same day (she had told me at first meeting that she knew she could not get pregnant at all). They were engaged the day of the funeral. She also tried to walk off with some things my very upset mother gave her (I put them back) and called me the b word twice. I was in my early twenties and had just lost my father. Such a nice woman. /sThey just divorced this year from what I hear. She’s got some new boy toy and I hope someone stops her before she sucks him dry too.
My sister was always smarter than me academically. Growing up I was always jealous she made straight A’s in school. I was completely blown away when she called me up during her senior year in college to tell me how she was flunking out. Turns out her then boyfriend at the time pressured her to party so much that her grades suffered for it.They got married after she dropped out of school. He works for Target and she works at a call center. They’re married and living in a s****y apartment which I’ve helped them pay rent for on more than one occasion. Every time we talk now she seems more and more upset about their marriage but gets defensive when I bring up leaving him. Thankfully they don’t have kids.
It hasn’t crashed yet, but much like the town of Centralia PA, near where they live, it is slowly burning to bits underneath.She was in an abusive, cheating relationship for 3 years (from age 23-26) and they finally split when she got knocked up with his kid. I’m not sure if he ended it with her (on account of him having 3 other kids with other exes) or if she just realized this guy with no prospects couldn’t be a father.Cut to two years later, she has a beautiful son, finished her nursing degree, is finally making decent money with a stable job. She decides to get back in the dating scene, but is 28 and has put on some weight.She moves in with the first guy she goes on a date with, literally 2 months after they meet. He is nice enough, has a couple kids. But she left her beautiful apartment to go live in a trailer with him.He has no prospects, is 15 years older, and barely pulls in enough income to live in the trailer. I’m just waiting for the day she wakes up and realizes she can do so much better. She doesn’t deserve an alcoholic who makes 1/2 of what she does, leaving her to support his kids, as well has her own. She was just beginning to pull out of debt and the cycle of substance abuse in her family, too.
Apparently when my mum married my dad, my grandad (my mum’s dad) drove her to the church, and just before they arrived, said to her, “I can just keep driving if you want me to.“They lasted 12 years. It wasn’t an awful relationship but they were fundamentally incompatible. I love my dad but I still can’t work out what the hell she was thinking.
Hm, there were so many signs…always drinking the last of the milk and leaving nothing for his son for breakfast, leaving garbage piled up at the empty apartment across the hall’s door b/c he was too lazy to bring it to the dumpster, moving a toilet full of blue water down the apartment hallway leaving a trail of blue dye which my daughter had to spend hours scrubbing up, never holding a job for more than a couple of months at a time, writing my husband and asking if he can ask our daughter to perform her wifely duties like a good wife…but the end came when he hit her, just that once.I’d have to say I knew it was the beginning of the end when I saw how nasty they fought, and how he just didn’t know when to shut his fg mouth, just kept trying to defend himself with his stupid excuses. A smart husband knows when to shut his fg mouth, just like a good wife does.
My sister got married outdoors on a beautiful, calm, blue-sky day. Just as the ceremony started, a big black cloud moved in over the hill. When the minister said, “if anyone objects to these two being married…” a sudden wind came up, blew the set/stage/alter apart, and it started to rain, hard.I’m pretty sure it was a sign from God, and I’m a devout atheist.
The day I met my brother’s soon to be wife I knew it wouldn’t last. She was about 10 years younger than him(my age) acted 10 years younger than me and had a hair trigger for all of her negative emotions. Took them to long to finally split(happened this year) because my brother was “still in love” after not having sex in 6 years and living as roommates for about 7. He got two great kids out of it but I think he has lost a little of his soul to that harpy whale.
Brother-in-Law here- when my sister started cheating on her Ukrainian husband with her Turkish boyfriend.In context, her Old World husband was the hard working, stuff money under the mattress and pinch ever penny kind of person. He wanted my sister (an American w/ attitude?) to become a homemaker before they bought a house together and move his entire family into it. They stayed married five years like that living apart.She decided to go with the excitement of a an abusive, controlling asshat who does a 180 on her and lavishes her with sweet nothings since he cannot afford anything. But talk to any other guy and he locks down her entire life including monitoring her phone calls and who sees her at work.What really ruined her marriage was her husband entering her house while her boyfriend was there.Husband goes “Who the f**k is this?“R****d goes “I’m her boyfriend.“Husband goes outside and wrecks boyfriends' car with his mechanics tools.Less than a year later they divorce and she now cheats on her current Turkish delight.
My brother’s marriage was doomed 6 months into dating. She called the house hysterical because he hadn’t texted her when he got home 2 hours ago after their date. She was not upset because he forgot to text. She was upset because she was certain he died. My brother, like frankly all of my family myself included, is not very sensitive. His ex was extremely sensitive. Their relationship was a waste of time for them both.
When he told my daughter she couldn’t buy Diet Coke anymore due to budget constraints while he continued to down a case of beer every weekend. And it took off from there. Increasingly petty rules imposed in a seemingly random fashion for no concrete reason.No, she didn’t stop buying what she wanted.My daughter in law’s OK, though, so the chances of me just being a classic b***h mother-in-law are not as good as they may seem.
Sister; but from the start based on my sister and how she acted my whole life. My sister was the kind of girl who absorbed the interests of whoever she liked at the time. Her husband was lazy, so it took a while longer for it to happen. They tried to fix the problem with a kid and the rift grew worse. They finally agreed to get a divorce a month ago and she is moving back in with our mother. I called it long ago when I found out they guy who I had been making fun of my sister with while playing cod was in fact the guy who ended being her next boyfriend.
Brother in-law here. When my older brother found out that his wife was [sleeping with] her own cousin, it was a major sign that s**t was falling apart. He still hasn’t recovered from the divorce, which screwed him over pretty good (he didn’t go to court, so they basically handed everything to his ex-wife), but that’s his fault.
She’s exactly like all his previous girlfriends, who all cheated on him, so I don’t know why he thinks she’ll be different.
I’m the sister-in-law. She got jealous that her father respected my degree and career plans and told me that she basically had the same degree as me because she took a couple classes of it.
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