Many say actions speak louder than words, which is why telling people you can do something is not equal to actually doing it. That’s also why sometimes, when an individual does something, said action can speak a thousand words on their character or upbringing, either good orbad.Members of the ‘Ask Reddit’ subreddit recently discussed signs that show that a person was raised right. From cleaning up after themselves to being polite to service workers, and beyond, their actions usually speak for themselves, so if you’re curious what people perceive as signs of good upbringing, scroll down to find their thoughts on the list below.Below you will also findBored Panda’sinterview with a licensed clinical psychologist, professor at the California School of Professional Psychology, and author ofTeaching Kids to Think,Dr. Ronald Stolberg, who was kind enough to answer a few of our questions on how to instill good manners in children.This post may includeaffiliate links.
Many say actions speak louder than words, which is why telling people you can do something is not equal to actually doing it. That’s also why sometimes, when an individual does something, said action can speak a thousand words on their character or upbringing, either good orbad.
Members of the ‘Ask Reddit’ subreddit recently discussed signs that show that a person was raised right. From cleaning up after themselves to being polite to service workers, and beyond, their actions usually speak for themselves, so if you’re curious what people perceive as signs of good upbringing, scroll down to find their thoughts on the list below.
Below you will also findBored Panda’sinterview with a licensed clinical psychologist, professor at the California School of Professional Psychology, and author ofTeaching Kids to Think,Dr. Ronald Stolberg, who was kind enough to answer a few of our questions on how to instill good manners in children.
This post may includeaffiliate links.
Nothing. Sometimes the best people are good people not because their parents raised them that way, but because they used their parents as an example of how NOT to act.
RELATED:
One time, I drunk dialed my ex and I called the wrong number. It was this sweet old guy and we talked for an hour about how I shouldn’t call my ex and that I deserve better and how I just need to go to sleep and rest. I have no clue who this man is but I think about him often. He was a great human!
How they treat animals and people who are vulnerable.
Discussing the importance ofparents teachingtheir child good manners, Dr. Ronald Stolberg emphasized that it’s extremely important to do that, but not for the reason you might think.“Children who know what the expectations are for their behavior display less anxiety, are more confident, and can act naturally because they know what the expectations are for their behavior,” he explained. “Less anxiety and more confidence is something we all want for our kids.”
Discussing the importance ofparents teachingtheir child good manners, Dr. Ronald Stolberg emphasized that it’s extremely important to do that, but not for the reason you might think.
“Children who know what the expectations are for their behavior display less anxiety, are more confident, and can act naturally because they know what the expectations are for their behavior,” he explained. “Less anxiety and more confidence is something we all want for our kids.”
I was working at a grocery store gas station in Arizona during the height of the pandemic. One summer night, a customer came in and pointed out an elderly man sitting in a wheelchair near the back of the building.Long story short, it is obvious that he was dumped there. He was far away from the assisted living facility where he was staying, had no idea where he was, and given the fact that it was 110 degrees, it was lucky that he was alive.That lady who alerted us to him? She stayed the entire time, helped figure out where he was from (he didn’t speak much English), and even called her kids to say “mom’s not gonna be home for awhile.” She finally left after he’d been loaded into an ambulance and taken to the hospital almost 2 hours later.Whomever had dropped him off? Worst of humanity. This woman? She was raised right.
When they can win a game and lose a game both without turning into a fg ae.
“The best outcome is when parents model the expected behavior, and when they observe concerning deviations, they have a calm conversation with their child and reinforce the desired manners. Then, the best way to get the desired behavior to become permanent is to reward the desired manners. Rewards can be praise, acknowledgement, or even a fun dessert or treat. Model behavior you want to see, then when you observe it happening organically, reward it,” Prof. Stolberg advised.
Nothing on their phone is ever played out loud in a public space.
I was back in my hometown riding the city bus, two middle school boys got on the bus and sat in the priority seating. After a little while the bus started filling, at one stop an elderly lady got on with a walker and a shopping bag. The two boys popped up to give her the seat and helped her with her things.It may seem like a common thing, but I can guarantee it won’t happen in my current city.
I’m a high school teacher. When it comes to getting kids into pairs of groups there’s always a bit of awkward tension. There’s always a few kids who don’t have any friends and then I have to put them in a group and risk a negative reaction which makes everyone uncomfortable. When students notice, without me saying anything, who the kids are without friends and immediately go over and ask to be their partner or invite to join their group.
“The best way to help your child develop goodmannersis for them to know explicitly what is expected of them,” Dr. Stolberg emphasized. “Not every family will think the same behaviors are important, so parents need to be clear what is expected in theirfamily. I like to call these ‘family rules’. Not every family will have the same rules, but a child that knows exactly what is expected in terms of their behavior is more likely to display the desired manners and behavior.”
Throwing away their fast food rubbish at a shopping center food court. I have distanced myself from someone because they said “that’s the cleaner’s job” no. The cleaner’s job is to wipe the tables down, it’s not a sit in restaurant, throw your damn rubbish out.
They admit when they’re wrong.
They are polite to minimum wage workers.
In an interview withBored Panda, the expert noted that, when it comes to raising children, it’s difficult to determine what’s ‘right’. “Remember that there are significant cultural differences when it comes to things like making eye contact, shaking hands, speaking without being spoken to, and so on,” he said.“Therefore, I think a child that is kind, considerate, and positive when talking about others was probably raised ‘right’ regardless of some of the other markers that we might associate with good manners, like making eye contact when speaking to you.”
In an interview withBored Panda, the expert noted that, when it comes to raising children, it’s difficult to determine what’s ‘right’. “Remember that there are significant cultural differences when it comes to things like making eye contact, shaking hands, speaking without being spoken to, and so on,” he said.
“Therefore, I think a child that is kind, considerate, and positive when talking about others was probably raised ‘right’ regardless of some of the other markers that we might associate with good manners, like making eye contact when speaking to you.”
Keeping trash in their pockets until they get to a trash can.
I’ll brag. My son was a waiter at a popular spot. A tourist paid with cash, left no tip. My son noticed the bill was stuck with another of the same value (like when they come out of the ATM) so it was obviously not a tip. He went out and ran after the man to give him the money back. His coworkers asked why he didn’t keep it. He said simply “it wasn’t mine”. Love that kid.
If they give you a ride somewhere and when dropping you off…watch to make sure you get in the door ok…they were raised right.
According to Dr. Stolberg,parents should dothe best that they can to be good role models for the behavior they are looking for from their children. “It is also important to remember that nobody is perfect all the time. If parents can model that they sometimes struggle with their own manners it will help them be better teachers and be more patient while their children learn what is expected of them.“Clear expectations, good modeling, reinforcing the desired behavior, and patience are required to teach kids good manners,” the expert summed up.
According to Dr. Stolberg,parents should dothe best that they can to be good role models for the behavior they are looking for from their children. “It is also important to remember that nobody is perfect all the time. If parents can model that they sometimes struggle with their own manners it will help them be better teachers and be more patient while their children learn what is expected of them.
“Clear expectations, good modeling, reinforcing the desired behavior, and patience are required to teach kids good manners,” the expert summed up.
They’re respectful to those with language barriers.
How people treat other people who:* Cannot possibly give them anything* Are serving themAlso what they do when no one is looking, or when it would be unlikely they saw any consequences. (i.e. on anonymous forums on the Internet) 😂.
A year after my mom died, in a moment of despair, I texted her a long message about how much I missed her and how sorry I was that we struggled to see eye to eye in her last months. I was distraught and wasn’t thinking clearly; it didn’t occur to me that her number may have been recycled. The new “owner” of her phone number texted me back and said something like, “Hey, you’ve got the wrong number, but I’m so sorry you’ve lost your mom. I’m sure she loved you and is watching over you”. I lost it. Good humans exist.
I’m in my 30s and moved my dad up to where I live a few years ago. I came home from work one day and it was pouring rain. My dad had been waiting on the porch with an umbrella to walk me from my car so I would not get wet.
Offering to help with tasks as a guest at someone’s house. A friend of my wife consistently offers to help prepare food and clean after I cook dinner. Fabulous dude with excellent parents.
The ones that pay attention to the overlooked people in a group and include them in the conversation too instead of treating them like a background character.
They make their kids clean up all the toys they get out when they come to my house!
They don’t expect something in return.
Fill the tank when they borrow a car.
When they wait for you to get in the house/building before they leave.
When they don’t talk badly about someone’s physical appearance.
When they’re at your house for dinner and they offer to help with the dishes.
In a meeting, some of my kid’s (middle school) teachers told me that he thanks them as he exits class each day. That made me proud even though I’m not the one who directly taught him that.
See Also on Bored Panda
I bartend and worked in restaurants forever. When the ONE person in a group/party can help sort out tabs when everyone is lit, offer to help pay whatever is left, communicate appetizers properly, be kind in the midst of the chaos. Absolute gems.
Knowing when to be kind and knowing when to be firm.
Continue reading with Bored Panda PremiumUnlimited contentAd-free browsingDark modeSubscribe nowAlready a subscriber?Sign In
Continue reading with Bored Panda Premium
Unlimited contentAd-free browsingDark mode
Unlimited content
Ad-free browsing
Dark mode
Subscribe nowAlready a subscriber?Sign In
If they wait to keep the door open so other people can pass! (Restaurants, Gas Stations, Stores)Let me tell you that in my city the majority of the people don’t do this or even say thank you 💀.
When a person you don’t know willingly comes up to you when you’re crying and tells you that everything will be okay and lets you talk.
When in a social setting, they don’t punch down when trying to be funny. Also, self deprecating humor can tell you a lot about a person.
They don’t talk during the show at the movies or at plays.
How someone handles making amends if they’ve caused harm. A lot of people wallow in shame when they’ve found out their actions caused pain. People who were raised right can sit in that discomfort, make the apology, and then hold themselves accountable.
When you bring up a boundary of yours, and they genuinely listen. They don’t argue or try to push back, even after the conversation is over.
The ability to show empathy, respect, and kindness towards others, regardless of their background or circumstances. They are often polite, considerate, and willing to lend a helping hand when needed. They also exhibit strong moral values and integrity in their actions and decisions.
They are ok with giving someone else the spotlight.
They give respect to people they both know and don’t know rather demanding everyone earn that common decency from them.
I was at the DMV getting my license renewed and this elderly man was talking to an agent about how he needed an uber. I guess someone called him a uber to get to the DMV but he had no idea how to do it himself. I don’t use uber but my understanding is you have to have the app to get a ride. A very pretty lady next to me overheard this and offered to give the man a ride home after she finished up at the DMV. The man asked her where she lived and when she replied he said thats the opposite direction a good 20 mins out of your way.. The pretty lady simply said that’s ok I just want you to make it home..The elderly man also had a strong odor of poop. Like he may have had an accident. I simply looked at the pretty lady and said damn you are nice.. WAYYY nicer then me..This was years ago and I still think about how pretty that lady is and how pretty her soul is.
They fold the blankets or make the bed after sleeping over. Respectful of boundaries.
They stand up to shake hands.
Walking tiptoe on a wet floor when they pass the person mopping it. being respectful and nice to servers.
I met this girl in my second semester college biology class (lab partner) and she would always ask me how I was doing with a clear genuine sincerity, and seemed to genuinely care about everyone she interacted with. It’s a very small detail, but it is something that is often not done and it is nice to know that I’ve always got someone to fall back to if i’m having a tough time, and i’m glad to call her one of my closest friends now.
(Especially a dude) who can cook. It erases at least four red flags.
Modal closeAdd Your Answer!Not your original work?Add sourcePublish
Modal close
Add Your Answer!Not your original work?Add sourcePublish
Not your original work?Add sourcePublish
Not your original work?Add source
Modal closeModal closeOoops! Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB.UploadUploadError occurred when generating embed. Please check link and try again.TwitterRender conversationUse html versionGenerate not embedded versionAdd watermarkInstagramShow Image OnlyHide CaptionCropAdd watermarkFacebookShow Image OnlyAdd watermarkChangeSourceTitleUpdateAdd Image
Modal closeOoops! Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB.UploadUploadError occurred when generating embed. Please check link and try again.TwitterRender conversationUse html versionGenerate not embedded versionAdd watermarkInstagramShow Image OnlyHide CaptionCropAdd watermarkFacebookShow Image OnlyAdd watermarkChangeSourceTitleUpdateAdd Image
Ooops! Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB.
Upload
UploadError occurred when generating embed. Please check link and try again.TwitterRender conversationUse html versionGenerate not embedded versionAdd watermarkInstagramShow Image OnlyHide CaptionCropAdd watermarkFacebookShow Image OnlyAdd watermark
Error occurred when generating embed. Please check link and try again.
TwitterRender conversationUse html versionGenerate not embedded versionAdd watermark
InstagramShow Image OnlyHide CaptionCropAdd watermark
FacebookShow Image OnlyAdd watermark
ChangeSourceTitle
You May Like30 Of The Most Hilarious Posts From Parents That Made People Laugh This FebruaryIlona Baliūnaitė“I’m No Contact With My Parents”: 30 Parents’ Mistakes Millennials Swear Not To RepeatJustinas KeturkaParent Makes Adult Daughter Face The Consequences Of Her Own Actions When Anxiety Takes OverIndrė Lukošiūtė
Ilona Baliūnaitė
Justinas Keturka
Indrė Lukošiūtė
Parenting
