For some people, picking fights is a favored pastime. They might also enjoy making their partner’s life needlessly difficult or show signs of feeling superior to everyone else. While that is likely not the kind of person you would want to befriendsor, perish the thought, romantic partners with, chances are you have encountered someone like that yourself.People on today’s list sure have, and they decided to make their interactions public. They shared the text messages they exchanged with the so-called “nice girls” on asubredditdedicated to exactly that, showing that for some people, being nice is nothing but an act. Scroll down to find netizens’ cases of dealing with “nice girls” in the wild, and see for yourself just how troublesome it can get.Below you will also findBored Panda’sinterview with an assistant professor of health communication at the University of Connecticut,Dr. Elizabeth Hintz, who was kind enough to answer a few of our questions on “nice girls”.This post may includeaffiliate links.
For some people, picking fights is a favored pastime. They might also enjoy making their partner’s life needlessly difficult or show signs of feeling superior to everyone else. While that is likely not the kind of person you would want to befriendsor, perish the thought, romantic partners with, chances are you have encountered someone like that yourself.
People on today’s list sure have, and they decided to make their interactions public. They shared the text messages they exchanged with the so-called “nice girls” on asubredditdedicated to exactly that, showing that for some people, being nice is nothing but an act. Scroll down to find netizens’ cases of dealing with “nice girls” in the wild, and see for yourself just how troublesome it can get.
Below you will also findBored Panda’sinterview with an assistant professor of health communication at the University of Connecticut,Dr. Elizabeth Hintz, who was kind enough to answer a few of our questions on “nice girls”.
This post may includeaffiliate links.
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No one likes a fake person. Someone who seems nice, but is actually the most deceitful or meanest person to ever walk on earth. Well, unlike the name of the subreddit suggests, the so-called “nice girls” whose messages are featured on this list are far from nice, too.Discussing this type of “nice people”, Dr. Elizabeth Hintz pointed out that the “nice girls” concept comes from the “nice guy” concept, which is “something that’s generally [widespread] within the manosphere because it perpetuates harmful ideas about relationships with women (for example, being nice means being entitled to intercourse).”In a recent interview withBored Panda, the expert noted that this phenomenon is a part of the broader prevalence of ‘men’s rights’ discourse online, which reduces people to overly simplistic and often evolutionary arguments for what constitutes a good relationship. “It’s important to keep in mind that this ‘nice girl,’ ‘nice guy’ phenomenon comes from that system of meaning,” she emphasized.
No one likes a fake person. Someone who seems nice, but is actually the most deceitful or meanest person to ever walk on earth. Well, unlike the name of the subreddit suggests, the so-called “nice girls” whose messages are featured on this list are far from nice, too.
Discussing this type of “nice people”, Dr. Elizabeth Hintz pointed out that the “nice girls” concept comes from the “nice guy” concept, which is “something that’s generally [widespread] within the manosphere because it perpetuates harmful ideas about relationships with women (for example, being nice means being entitled to intercourse).”
In a recent interview withBored Panda, the expert noted that this phenomenon is a part of the broader prevalence of ‘men’s rights’ discourse online, which reduces people to overly simplistic and often evolutionary arguments for what constitutes a good relationship. “It’s important to keep in mind that this ‘nice girl,’ ‘nice guy’ phenomenon comes from that system of meaning,” she emphasized.
“I think the real problem with ‘nice girls’ stems from this idea of entitlement,” Dr. Hintz continued. “Entitlement to having a relationship with another person, and behaving in a way that reflects that sense of entitlement. Entitlement is the underlying motivation, I believe, for ‘nice girls’ who behave this way. People who express an entitlement to a relationship or intimacy generally do not succeed for these reasons.”
According to Dr. Hintz, nowadays, there’s this pervasive idea of what constitutes a “high value” partner, which plays a big role in these conversations. “If you listen to men’s rights podcasts, for example, they talk about a ‘high-value man’ as being someone with significant resources or other measure of status or social influence, whereas ‘high-value women’ are talked about as being beautiful or sexually desirable and sexually pure. This logic which reduces people to their ‘value’ fuels a lot of this idea about what it means to be a desirable partner.”In Hintz’s opinion,social mediaspreads these harmful ideas about what makes a person valuable or what makes a partner valuable. “These ideas become more normative when they are spread around via the internet or social media.”
According to Dr. Hintz, nowadays, there’s this pervasive idea of what constitutes a “high value” partner, which plays a big role in these conversations. “If you listen to men’s rights podcasts, for example, they talk about a ‘high-value man’ as being someone with significant resources or other measure of status or social influence, whereas ‘high-value women’ are talked about as being beautiful or sexually desirable and sexually pure. This logic which reduces people to their ‘value’ fuels a lot of this idea about what it means to be a desirable partner.”
In Hintz’s opinion,social mediaspreads these harmful ideas about what makes a person valuable or what makes a partner valuable. “These ideas become more normative when they are spread around via the internet or social media.”
“It’s important to recognize that successful relationships depend upon a mutual investment in relational maintenance,” Dr. Elizabeth Hintz told Bored Panda. “In other words, both partners must contribute to keeping a relationship functional and worthwhile. One-sided relationships where one partner feels as though they are a gift to the other partner, or that their partner is ‘lucky’ to be in a relationship with a person of their perceived status or ‘value,’ are usually not relationships in which both partners are investing in the relationship.”
Unfortunately, when it comes to “nice guys” and “nice girls”, it’s not always instantly clear what their views or intentions are; that is until they show their true colors, be it over the first message or on the 10th date. That’s why it’s important to remember that first impressions, especially formed without having a conversation first, might be deceitful.Take dating apps, for instance; some people spend hours on polishing their account to make a good first impression. After all, the potential match only has a few pictures and a brief comment to browse before making their mind up on which way to swipe.But while it might attract a so-called match, the pictures and the description can only get a person so far. Ina piecefor BBC, Princeton University Professor of Psychology Alexander Todorov, author ofFace Value: The Irresistible Influence of First Impressions, pointed out that pictures might not be worth much when the people start talking. At the end of the day, it’s what they have to say that’s likely to make or break the success of the relationship.“The only way to tell whether two people will really like each other – they have to talk. People don’t make good predictions for compatibility without talking,” Prof. Todorov told BBC.
Unfortunately, when it comes to “nice guys” and “nice girls”, it’s not always instantly clear what their views or intentions are; that is until they show their true colors, be it over the first message or on the 10th date. That’s why it’s important to remember that first impressions, especially formed without having a conversation first, might be deceitful.
Take dating apps, for instance; some people spend hours on polishing their account to make a good first impression. After all, the potential match only has a few pictures and a brief comment to browse before making their mind up on which way to swipe.
But while it might attract a so-called match, the pictures and the description can only get a person so far. Ina piecefor BBC, Princeton University Professor of Psychology Alexander Todorov, author ofFace Value: The Irresistible Influence of First Impressions, pointed out that pictures might not be worth much when the people start talking. At the end of the day, it’s what they have to say that’s likely to make or break the success of the relationship.
“The only way to tell whether two people will really like each other – they have to talk. People don’t make good predictions for compatibility without talking,” Prof. Todorov told BBC.
Discussing the topic of online dating, another expert, assistant professor at West Virginia University Liesel Sharabi, told BBC that without a lot of information, we might think better of someone that we would otherwise. “Sometimes with online dating you have a tendency to build people up in your head which can lead to disappointment. We can idealise people when we don’t have a lot of information to go on.”
Whether online or in real life, most people want to leave a good first impression instead of getting the other person involved in some drama. But as seen on this list, some people can’t help but createdrama, often – completely out of thin air.While that doesn’t necessarily mean that they are, they might be somewhat “addicted to drama”. A psychologist and author ofAddicted to Drama: Healing Dependency on Crisis and Chaos in Yourself and Others, Dr. Scott Lyons, suggested that there are seven signs that might give away that someone simply can’t live a life without drama.As he points out ina piecefor CNBC News, the signs entail them feeling a sense of urgency, using exaggerated language, craving to be the center of attention, retelling stories with unnecessary intensity, focusing on the negative or exhilarating elements of other people’s lives, being way too preoccupied with—or even stuck in—their own story, and feeling a lack of control.
Whether online or in real life, most people want to leave a good first impression instead of getting the other person involved in some drama. But as seen on this list, some people can’t help but createdrama, often – completely out of thin air.
While that doesn’t necessarily mean that they are, they might be somewhat “addicted to drama”. A psychologist and author ofAddicted to Drama: Healing Dependency on Crisis and Chaos in Yourself and Others, Dr. Scott Lyons, suggested that there are seven signs that might give away that someone simply can’t live a life without drama.
As he points out ina piecefor CNBC News, the signs entail them feeling a sense of urgency, using exaggerated language, craving to be the center of attention, retelling stories with unnecessary intensity, focusing on the negative or exhilarating elements of other people’s lives, being way too preoccupied with—or even stuck in—their own story, and feeling a lack of control.
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