There is a world of difference between being a genuinely nice person and a“nice guy.”In the former case, you’re empathetic and respect others because you actually care about people and the right thing to do. In the latter case, manipulative,insecureindividuals only pretend to be kind in order to get what they want—for example, attention from their love interest.Unfortunately,toxicpretenders who lack basic self-awareness aren’t all that rare. Thewomenof the AskReddit community opened up about their cringiest “nice guy”interactionsas a warning to others. Scroll down for their stories.This post may includeaffiliate links.
There is a world of difference between being a genuinely nice person and a“nice guy.”In the former case, you’re empathetic and respect others because you actually care about people and the right thing to do. In the latter case, manipulative,insecureindividuals only pretend to be kind in order to get what they want—for example, attention from their love interest.
Unfortunately,toxicpretenders who lack basic self-awareness aren’t all that rare. Thewomenof the AskReddit community opened up about their cringiest “nice guy”interactionsas a warning to others. Scroll down for their stories.
This post may includeaffiliate links.
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My friend was upset because she had a fight with her boyfriend. His best friend decided to comfort her, he listened, gave her a shoulder to cry on.The next day he tried to force s*x from her. He said she owed him for looking after her. He had to listen to her c**p so she needed to please him. Luckily one of us came over to notice him trying to force his way onto her.
Guy I’d hung out with a few times offered to come feed my cat for the weekend I was away. We agreed on how much I’d pay him. When I got home I saw that he left the money on the counter.I texted to thank him and ask when I can pick up my key. He basically demanded sx since he hadn’t taken the money and he wanted sx instead. I said I’m not a whre and he should have just taken the $20 as agreed. Then he refused to give back my key and said he would sell it on Craigslist with my address and photos of me.I informed him that I’d screenshot the conversation and sent it to several friends and if anything happened to me they would show the convo to the police and that I didn’t think a little dancer boy would fair well in prison. He then said that threatening to have me rped was just a joke.
Many so-called “nice guys” have a very transactional understanding of relationships. They believe that being superficially polite and kind, and doing someone favors entitles them to things like dates or physical intimacy. They also tend to think that affection can be bought. In short, they have a warped perception of how relationships develop and think that putting in a tiny bit of effort should be massively rewarded.When someone rejects them or tells them a polite “no,” they tend to show theirtrue colors. They might lash out, opt for emotional blackmail, and generally behave immaturely. For them, relationships are only as valuable as what they can get from them. In other words, they don’t see relationships as being valuable in and of themselves.
Many so-called “nice guys” have a very transactional understanding of relationships. They believe that being superficially polite and kind, and doing someone favors entitles them to things like dates or physical intimacy. They also tend to think that affection can be bought. In short, they have a warped perception of how relationships develop and think that putting in a tiny bit of effort should be massively rewarded.
When someone rejects them or tells them a polite “no,” they tend to show theirtrue colors. They might lash out, opt for emotional blackmail, and generally behave immaturely. For them, relationships are only as valuable as what they can get from them. In other words, they don’t see relationships as being valuable in and of themselves.
I used to get public transport home from university each day. Made friends with a guy who shared most of my classes and it turned out he lived quite near me. One lecture finished late and he offered to drive me home so I didn’t have to get public transport alone at night. I thanked him profusely, as I really didn’t feel safe alone at night. All went well. Couple days later I was leaving uni and he offered again, I told him he didn’t need to, but he waved it off and said he was happy to. Over the next semester he made a habit of offering to drop me home whenever we ended the day with a class together. When I tried to offer to pay for petrol or pay for his lunch as a thank you, he would just reiterate that he really didn’t mind and he was happy to do it.One day when he’s driving me home he seems to be in a really bad mood. Gripping the steering wheel really tightly and only replying with single monosyllabic words. When we get to my house i ask if he’s ok. He doesn’t reply so i go to get out of the car, then he angrily says “are you EVER going to invite me inside!?” I must have said something like “huh, what?” Coz he then yells “I’ve been giving you free rides for MONTHS and you’ve never invited me in afterwards! Are we EVER going to have s*x??“I was so surprised and shocked I think i just got out of the car and walked away. This guy, who i thought was my friend, who i had offered to pay for the rides, thought he was entitled to sex because he had voluntarily been offering me rides.To reiterate: i offered to pay him for the rides, i never asked for a ride (he always offered and even insisted), and he had never asked me out on an actual date (i had no idea he thought of me that way).I felt so betrayed. Made it worse when he then told our mutual uni friends that id been stringing him along and using him for free rides.
When I was in college, there was this guy that hung around my friend group. No one actually knew which one of us brought him in, so maybe he just decided to crash, who knows. But he was creepy. He hit on ALL the girls in the group aggressively and whine DAILY about how we should just give him a chance to show us “how a lady should be treated”. We usually just rolled our eyes, although a few of the guys took him aside on separate occasions and told him to knock it off.He also went way over the top in a lot of ways. He’d bring the girls flowers or memorize their favorite candy/soda/snacks and present them as a “token of his great affection” (yep, he called it that). He had a bad habit of insisting, like legit would not take no for an answer, on walking the women wherever we needed to go. Myself and my best friend at the time both told him his behavior was creepy.There were three women in the “core” group, and five others who were close enough that they’d show up at LAN parties or whatever we were doing. He asked every single one of us out at least 50 times. Every single time we said no, he’d go off on this awful tirade about how women didn’t want nice guys, and how we should just be open to the possibility of him being “the love of our lives”. It did not matter how many times we told him we were not interested, not attracted, or IN RELATIONSHIPS.Sophomore year, a new girl joined the group. For whatever reason, she liked our Nice Guy. A lot. Weird. But he wasn’t in to her at all. A few of us started using his own BS rhetoric against him when he began whining about her not leaving him alone. It was pretty gross.
Of course, healthy and happy relationships—whether romantic,platonic, familial, or professional—will also have a certain give-and-take dynamic. Mutual respect, trust, and love require sacrifice and compromise. Even so, it’s unhealthy and exhausting if you’re constantly the only one running errands, doing favors, and giving up your goals for someone else’s. Your actions and physically helping someone out count for a lot more than just fancy promises and pretty words.True friends are there for you through thick and thin. They celebrate your wins. They support you through your failures. And they don’t come up with constant excuses about why they’d love to help you but really can’t this time (and a dozen before that).
Of course, healthy and happy relationships—whether romantic,platonic, familial, or professional—will also have a certain give-and-take dynamic. Mutual respect, trust, and love require sacrifice and compromise. Even so, it’s unhealthy and exhausting if you’re constantly the only one running errands, doing favors, and giving up your goals for someone else’s. Your actions and physically helping someone out count for a lot more than just fancy promises and pretty words.
True friends are there for you through thick and thin. They celebrate your wins. They support you through your failures. And they don’t come up with constant excuses about why they’d love to help you but really can’t this time (and a dozen before that).
I was sixteen, met him when I just started college (UK, so this is the normal age). Guy just started hanging out with my little friend group, and everyone just kind of assumed that someone else in the group knew him from school or something. No one did.He was really skinny, taller than all of us, even the other guys. Wore the same black duster every day that smelled badly of BO, with thick Goth boots. Blond hair that was super greasy and long. He kept running one hand through it and pouting, or just holding his hand spread over his face after. An anime pose or something?Started off normal enough. He just seemed a bit quirky, but we were cool with that. Then he started focusing on me more and more. If someone swore, he’d dramatically cover my ears and demand that they ‘have respect in the presence of a lady’. Weird as fk. We all kind of just laughed it off most of the time and tried to ignore this guys st. Then he started putting his arm around me, trying to ‘glomp’ me, kiss my check etc. I asked him not to touch me, but he kept ‘forgetting’. We would all be talking about some st totally unrelated and he would just say something like ‘god you look so cute in this light’ or just pretend I had something in my hair so he could touch it. I don’t like confrontation so I put up with it to an extent, but I tried to be quite clear that I want interested.A dude I’d made friends with was chatting to me one day before our class. Creepy dude rocked up and immediately started trying on alpha st with him, trying to put his arm around me, size him up etc. I kept pulling away and asking him to stop, so my friend told the guy that he’s being a creep and to back off. Creepy dude accused him of trying to steal the affections of ‘his maiden’ (I wish I was joking).I out right told him I wasn’t interested in a relationship with anyone, he just kind of brushed it off though. Kept talking about how he’d ‘win my hand’. Wtf.One day, I needed to go to the library to do a project of forgotten about. He saw me on my way and asked to join me. I said only if he was doing work too, because I couldn’t afford to be distracted (deadlines). He agreed. When we got there, he was immediately all up in my personal space, trying to lean over me, trap me between his arms/body and the bookshelf etc. I was polite, kept asking him to stop. But he kept doing it, and every time I stopped walking, he’d ‘accidentally’ bump into me again and put his hands on me to ‘catch’ me etc. I snapped a bit, and said if he didn’t stop, I was going to get him kicked out of the library. He apologised. I turned around. Then he leaned in and smelled my neck. Loudly. Then moaned.I finally lost my st. Basically tore him a new one about boundaries and basically making me feel like an object. Told him that if he didn’t back the fk off, I was going to go to the college about having him expelled for harassment. He said nothing. I got kicked out of the library for being loud.He stopped hanging out with us. Everyone was relieved. All was good, except I missed that deadline. Saw him in passing but he wouldn’t even acknowledge me. Perfect result!
What’s more, they try to be increasingly authentic and vulnerable with each other as their relationship deepens. They value transparency, honesty, active listening, and just proper communication in general. And even though everyone keeps secrets (whether serious or benign), real friends also won’t have any hidden agendas concerning you.
I asked him to hang out the day after a messy breakup (infidelity from the ex) of a 2.5 year relationship. This “friend” asked me out FIVE TIMES and tried to get me to sleep in his bed.
I lived in a small town in Wyoming, and this was my sophmore year in high school. He was new in school. I had him in a couple classes with him and I tried to invite him to sit with me and meet my friends, so he wasn’t alone. Two days after knowing him, he sent me this long message on Facebook basically declaring his love for me. The whole conversation was him saying that no one was going to love me the way he does, how he broke up with his current girlfriend for me and if I let him down he would kll himself. BIG NO, instant block.The next day his ex-girlfriend messaged me stating that I was a whre and giving me death threats. He was going around the school telling people that I was a teenage pr*stitute and that my b**bs were fake. I was Mormon, a pretty devoted one, plus it helped I grew up in a small town, everyone knew me.Well he kept creating new Facebook profiles and sending me messages. All along the lines of me deserving to be raped to the fact that he loved me. This continued a year, the school changed my classes so I didn’t have any with him, but it wasn’t until he showed up at my house with his dad’s gun that I was able to get a restraining order. He moved to Texas, and I haven’t seen or heard from him since.
I was in uni, had a friend named Kevin. We had occasionally hung out, but when we did we always had a good time in a strictly non-sexual way: your typical nice guy. One day he comes knocking on my door and asked me out. I politely turned him down, saying that I only saw him as a friend. He immediately flipped out, said that this was my last chance and he was only going to offer to take me out on a date this one time, and once he left he would never ask me out again so I should think very carefully before I answered. I repeated that I only saw him as a friend, and before I could finish talking he had walked off saying that I was going to regret it.Nope Kevin, I dodged a bullet.
When is the last time that you interacted with a “nice guy”? What do you think is the best approach to see if someone is genuinely nice or only pretending to be to get something from you?
Nice guy told he loved me on our SECOND date. Which I even went on against my better judgement .. Of course I told him I wasn’t comfortable with that after only 2 dates and that I didn’t know him well enough to give him any real idea of how I felt. I shut things off and said I didn’t wanna see him anymore. A little while later, maybe a couple weeks.. I ended up meeting the man I am with now and we hit it off immediately. (Still together after 5 years.) “Nice guy” msg me that he missed me and wants to try to see me again. (Misses me??? Just wow..) So I tell him I am now seeing someone and I haven’t changed my mind about seeing him. He sent me like 4 pages of text about what a horrible person I am and how he really thought I was the one and I’m just a bh who fs with people’s feelings..I must be a major whore to already be in a relationship….etc. I mean. We went on TWO dates. Spent a total of a couple hours in each others company. And only were on contact for a week. He went berserk!
I had a guy tell me straight out during messaging on Bumble that he expected a blow job on our first date, which we had arranged for the following Saturday, and that once I had completed that task he would remove the dating app from his phone and we could date exclusively.I baulked at this of course, saying that not only would I not be giving him a blow job on our first date, I also would have no intention of going on a drive with him to a ‘cosy spot’ which is where he suggested said oral s*x happen.He got furious with me, said he was just being honest, was a ‘nice guy’ and that my suggestion that he sounded like a horny teenager (we’re both in our late 30s) made me a fg whore. He did not like it when I pointed out that being a fg whore and not giving him a blowjob seemed mutually exclusive to me.
Met this guy online through one of my friends. He seemed pretty nice, so I would text him periodically throughout the day and he wanted to video chat once so we did.He became obsessed with me and wanted to call every night before he went to bed. He told me I would be the perfect wife and that we should have 3 kids. He wanted to move me out to the cattle ranch he owned and operated so we could get married and start a family. We had been talking for maybe two weeks.I was looking for a job to get through college and jokingly shared a “now hiring dancers” sign at the local strip club on Snapchat. He went ballistic and told me he couldn’t be with a girl who had no respect for herself. We weren’t even dating, but he “broke up” with me on my birthday.
I met this dude who worked at the local supermarket because he kinda knew my friend. He was legitimately nice. He was overweight, but had great skin and hair. Not my type, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he had a hot girlfriend or whatever. He was a little nerdy and shy but pretty cool regardless.I friended him on Facebook since we had a lot of mutual friends. I had just seen an episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (before I knew what Bronies were) and he was a little too excited. He messaged me with all of these facts about the show and how most episodes were good but a few were a “little girlie”. I said that’s fine since it’s a show for little girls and he got pretty mad. Strike one.Strikes two and three were his constant whiny posts about “females” ignoring him for no reason. Going on and on about how the sexy, slim, big-breasted redhead didn’t give him her number. He even had his friend make this long post about how awful we all were for not hooking him up with our single female friends.The real kicker? Our mutual friend had a crush on him and he totally blew her off. She’s a pretty Italian girl with gorgeous hair and a perfect a*s. She’s also equally as nerdy as him, and they had the same nerdy interests. When she asked him out, he said they should just be friends.I couldn’t believe it. Dude lives with his parents, work at a grocery store, is a Brony, and he turns down a hot nerdy girl because she doesn’t look like an Anime character or The Little Mermaid.
I worked at a Harley Davidson dealership for around 3 years during college— so keep in mind I was around 19 or 20 at that time. We had a bundle of “regular” customers that would come in a few times a week to eat the free popcorn and drink the free hot chocolate that we kept in our customer lounge. Most of these guys were super sweet retirees that we got to know (and love) over the years, but there was one in particular that gave us the absolute creeps.This man was in his mid-fifties and never married with no children. He had LOTS of free time and began visiting very regularly and would noticeably gawk at our ladies on staff. He came in to our shop alone one day and seemed nice enough, so he and I engaged in ~10 minutes of casual conversation and it came up that I really loved football (Pittsburgh Steelers in particular).The following week, he started showing up nearly every single day with gifts for me. They started small with a football keychain and a coffee mug, then progressed to a sweatshirt and a license plate holder for my car. I would kindly refuse the gifts which would set him storming away into a silent, embarrassed rage. It got to the point that if we saw his bike pulling in to our parking lot, my coworkers would warn me so I could work from the back office or the shipping bay to avoid him.He would come in and ask our staff personal questions about me like where I lived, who I was dating, and what college I was attending. It got to the point that he was popping in every single day (sometimes multiple times) in hopes to cross paths with me. Finally, I had had enough of hiding in my own workplace and decided I would confront the issue head on.One day, I stayed in the dealership and he approached me with an envelope. It was two very expensive tickets to that Sunday’s Steelers game. I told him that I appreciated his gestures but that I would not be accepting gifts and that his advances were making me uncomfortable. He absolutely lost his st, and told me that I was a disgusting whore and that he knew that “girls like me” got a kick out of toying with his emotions. I told him that he misread my signals and that I was just being friendly and doing my job. He literally laughed in my face in the most insane scream-y fashion and said that I was “fake” and that I wore too much makeup, I was fat, and that I was probably on ds. (Huh?!)As I walked away he continued to yell at me and call me a dk tease and a s*t. It got so bad that our GM came out of his office and told him that if he didn’t leave we would call the police.He came back a few times in the years that I worked there and finally was banned after he intentionally brushed his crotch up against one of the girls cleaning the helmet display. He was FOUL.
Broke up with a dude I was dating for a couple months. He didn’t take it well and decided to post my nudes, phone number, & address on craigslist along with a nice paragraph stating how horny and ready to bang I was. Woke up to 75+ texts and calls from random numbers looking to have s*x w/me.
Oh this is good. I was working as a nurse assistant in a nursing home. There was a MUCH older man that worked in the kitchen, like 30+ years older than me. He would always tell me how beautiful I looked and give me long hugs. It felt creepy but I honestly thought he was just trying to be nice in an older fatherly type way. I didn’t want to make things awkward since he worked the same shift as me so I put up with it.One day he asked what my favorite coffee was, I told him nonchalantly thinking it was just a conversation starter. Later during my shift HE BROUGHT me that coffee. He walked to a coffee shop during his break and bought it for me. At this point I started realizing he’s being too friendly and my instincts were right. I kept refusing as he insistently shoved it at me. When I was refusing he pretended he didn’t understand what I was saying because of a language barrier, he’s from China but has lived in the states since he was a kid!! I felt so uncomfortable and was tired of trying to explain myself and have him dismiss me so I just took the coffee.Shortly after that he brought a box of chocolate to work for me. Once again I kept refusing but he insisted it was for me, he didn’t like chocolate and wouldn’t eat it. After that I mentioned that I was married with a toddler. He had a disgusted face not at me being married but having a child and asked me why I had a child so young. (I was 25 when this happened, and had a 2 1/2 year old at the time)Later on I was visiting with some residents in the activity room and he came in to talk to me. He started talking about how good my body was, how he couldn’t tell I had a child. He then grabbed my butt. I tried to turn away and he let go, but then he continued talking about how tight my butt is and how perfect my boobs were, after looking straight at my chest he then swung his arm behind me and grabbed my butt again, brining me into him.I felt so violated. I spent months thinking this was just some innocent overly nice guy but he was just grooming me. I told my supervisor who immediately told the director of the facility. Within 20 minutes he was fired and I never saw him again.The next day the director called me into her office and said she had several complaints against this employee and as soon as she heard my story and saw how he was escalating she knew she had to fire him immediately. I was so scared after that, every shift I walked out to my car late at night I thought he’d be out there.Other complaints: 1. Him bragging to other women employees about him hiring prostitutes and treating them to Olive Garden before having sex with them.2. Him viscioualy attacking another female employee, calling her “fat” “stupid” etc, in front of their boss and other peers.Those are just the complaints I heard from my friends after this happened, who knows what else he did.Just saying ladies, if someone assaults you it isn’t your fault. Giving people the benefit of the doubt and trying to see the good in people doesn’t mean you deserve to be assaulted and harassed. And don’t be afraid to be assertive and rude, we don’t owe anyone niceness.
In high school my older sister was extremely popular and pretty (think model material), while I was quite shy and weird and kept to myself, with no desire to be popular I might add. Somehow I managed to attract the attention of this sketchy older guy who began to frequently message me on AIM. In an effort to win my affection, he told me that a bunch of upperclassmen guys had gotten together and held a vote to determine who was hotter, my older sister or me. In his words, “Everyone else voted for your sister, but I voted for you even though they all made fun of me!” as though I was supposed to be grateful for his apparent self sacrifice. Needless to say, I didn’t go for it.
I once had a friend that had ‘no interest in me besides friendship’ explode at me in a bar and call me a c**t when he asked me to list the reasons why I would not date him. I did not want to and he would not let it go. Then he got pissed when I told him I’m not attracted to him and even if I was, I lived on my own and wasn’t interested in dating anyone that still lived with their parents creeping on 30…
In college, I played a lot of online video games. I posted on forums related to these games often. One guy, we’ll call him Bob, decided to “show me” how careless I’d been with my personal information. This lead to a phone call, on a number I never provided, during which he told me what dorm I lived in, at what campus, as well as information from public records regarding my family. On this call he told me how easy it would be for him to get there and r**e me. This was quite frightening, and when I put him on blast publicly for it, he stated he was “trying to show me how careless I’d been” and prove a point.Years later, I went to a group meet-up with a bunch of people from this forum (with a guest I knew already), and he called me, on the same number (shoulda changed it) to ask me to wait for him outside, because he knew what I looked like. My guest and I met up with everyone and pretty quickly left.
A year back this guy I met on Bumble (I know, I know…) seemed so sweet and we went on a cute ice cream date at the beach. Then, he told me he’d stay the night in his car around the street from my condo so he can immediately take me to work the next day. I come to find out he lived in his car. He wanted me to ‘sleep over’ one night, lol nah. He started staying the night in his car around the corner every night to take me to work, and eventually started just walking into my house to wake me up cuz he thought he was ‘helping’ me. Soon, he told me we should get rings so he can prove to everyone I was ‘his’ and he was ‘mine’ like I was property. I’m not entirely sure if you wanted to call this possessive or “nice guy” but I just wanted to give him a chance until the whole ring thing and then I was OUT. He tried coming to my work a few times with gifts and begging, and begging at my front door for weeks but stopped when I filed a restraining order.
A guy on a dating website messaged me out of the blue with a custom-written poem. It was 4-5 stanzas long and rhymed. He used information from my profile to write it. That level of effort from someone I didn’t know at all was creepy as hell. I also checked his profile and we had almost nothing in common and differed on several VERY fundamental life issues/beliefs. I didn’t respond to the poem because, again, it was super creepy. After a few days he messages me again calling me a b**h for not responding to him and that I should appreciate all the effort he went to to impress me. Like… thanks for your creepy-as poem, terrifying internet stranger?
I have 3 different stories of 3 different guys that I was friends with in HS that misinterpreted our friendship and confessed there love for me. When turning all 3 of them down they threatened sicide.Distanced myself from the 1st guy and when he moved we stopped talking. After getting engaged he messaged me congratulating me, being a dumbass I responded and talked to him for about a week before he decided to insult my fiance and tried to tell me I’d be better off with him.The second guy would text me a “sicide note” like 3 times a week and it got to the point where I got so frustrated I responded once and said something like “do it then” and he called me a bh but left me alone.3rd guy f**g stalked me after I cut contact with him, well into my 20s, and after I met my now husband. We lived like 45min-1hr away from each other and he’d still find a reason to show up at my job. After I got married he blocked me on all social media.Idk what kind vibe teenage me was putting out, but I will say bc of them I am alot better at setting boundaries and will cut people who make me uncomfortable out of my life without a second thought. So that’s cool I guess.
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Not a woman, but I get mistaken for one enough.Most recently, the guy in the bar who grabbed my hand and left saliva on it as he “graciously” kissed it, then asked “Is she yours?” to my friend.
I have a client who hits on me. He knows I am married because he mentions it. He also lashes out verbally if I say things he doesn’t like, which is truly scary. He is 55+, never moved out of his parent’s house, and spends his mom’s money for everything. She is in her 80’s and works two jobs to pay for his toys. One day, she came in with him to see if there was anything we could do to get his bills lower since she is struggling, and he started lashing out at her. “Shut the Fk up. SHE ISN’T TALKING TO YOU!” and “YOU’RE STUPID!! SHUT UP!” I felt honestly worried for his mom.Anyway, he would purposely let his insurance lapse so he would have an excuse to come in and sign a form so he could talk to me. He was very blantant about it as well. He always threw his mom under the bus for not “paying his bills” but then would talk about how he bought this or that and then would say “I know I should’ve paid that insurance, but I couldn’t pass up a chance to come say hi to you.“One time, he said he couldn’t come in until Saturday to sign the form and asked if I could make arrangments to be there on the weekend instead. I told him we were closed. My coworker, and elderly man of 60+ said he would be here if I had the forms ready. The guy got angry and said he wanted me to be here on Saturday, alone, and that I should cancel my plans and be here no matter what. My mind got stuck on the “alone” part and I told him I couldn’t do it but that I would be back on Monday (with a full staff, just in case).One day, he called to use his mom’s credit card to pay his bill. I didn’t answer the phone right away because I had another client with me. He keeps calling over and over and over again. Finally, after the client left, I picked up the phone and he started yelling at me. I asked him why he was so upset and he said “I COULDN’T GET YOU ON THE PHONE TO PAY MY BILL SO I USED THE MONEY TO BUY BASEBALL CARDS!!! THIS IS YOUR FAULT! NOW I CANNOT PAY MY INSURANCE! THIS! IS! YOUR! FAULT!!” then slammed the phone down on me.Just this past month, his vehicle broke down, so he had to go buy another one. His mom went with him. He had insufficient credit, so his mom had to buy it under her name. I told them I could not add the vehicle to the policy since the vehicle was not titled to him. We would have to cancel the policy and she would need to put it on her insurance plan, which was with a different agency.Finally! I was free!Until he came in last week to sign the cancellation form, a document that is time-stamped. When he arrived and I didn’t have the form already printed out, he went off on me right there. ‘YOU SHOULD’VE HAD THIS FORM READY!” and claimed I was being incompetant. I told him it was a time-stamped form and that the document is not generated until the client is sitting in front of me and ready to cancel because it has to be signed that moment. He signed the form and stompped off. I felt relief that I wouldn’t have to deal with him anymore until he came back in the door and said “Btw, let me know when you break it off with your husband! I might have to come back and get insurance from you again.“I let me husband know everything, just in case. He knows I’m a rape victim and that I freeze up around this guy because he scares the st out of me.TL;DR: Client of mine blames women for everything, hits on me, and tries to catch me in my office alone.
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New Uni, new city. Met some people from my field of study, who introduced me to more people from other fields. That’s how I met NiceGuy™. Cool dude at first, we share similar tastes. A month later, he makes me visit the city. It all goes downhill from there. We went to a night club with our group of friends, celebrating the beginning of the year (and partying before being buried deep in work ahah), and he tried to flirt with me. I rejected him clearly, but nicely. After that day and night, he began really acting like a douchbag. When I finally asked him what was wrong, he yelled at me saying things like “I’m a kind dude, and since I’ve known you you’ve treated me like I was nothing” (… kofkof) I explained to him that I’m sorry that treating him the way I treated every friend in the group made him feel that way, but that I wasn’t responsible for how he feels, especially when I actually quite liked him and had good times with him. After arguing over the fact that I’m a heartless b*h and what not, he then told me that, in short, I shouldn’t have rejected him that night because I owed him since he made me visit the city. In short, apparently, when someone helps you, it owes you a free ticket for sexual favors. He was nothing but “nice and thoughtful” and I should have “giving him a chance”. And for not being interested in him, I was nothing but a “ct” who “doesn’t the chance she had” because he “could’ve drugged and raped me” when we were alone but he didn’t since he’s so nice. Sooooo charming!And the story don’t even end there, but it’s enough. I have several other stories about Nice Guys, I seem to attract them all!
My degree was fairly small, so everyone tended to know each other. Classes were also often capped at 20, so you ended up in class with the same people over and over again.One was the very definition of a nice guy, who wore not just a fedora, but a full blown, black leather duster and a wolf necklace. Every. Single. Day.He said it made him look like some character from a book–Drezzden? Drayden? I don’t remember. He also said he was a wolf shaman and that he could “spiritually turn into a wolf.” One of my fun encounters with him was him telling me that it was the full moon and that made him act a little crazy, but he tried hard to maintain his “gentleman image” and hold it back.He used “m’lady” and “maidens” a lot, and was also very difficult to work with on projects. He tried to touch you as often as he could, would run to open doors ahead of you, and would jump in to argue on your behalf (even if the “argument” was you telling your male friend that you thought pickles were gross and your male friend teasing you about it.)He also had a “dark and dangerous” past and liked to go on and on about it, but always made sure to wink at any women in the vicinity and say that he’d turned a new leaf and now was only dangerous to “evildoers.“We had a warning system about him that the professors caught on to. Most of them just went “Aw come on guys, he’s not that bad” but the only female teacher didn’t even blink she just went right along with it.
Guy from high school ended up going to same college as me. I had known the guy since elementary school and never viewed him as anything other than the kid who couldn’t be taken seriously and occasionally was sleazy. Well, college came around and he started relentlessly asking me out. I didn’t like him and kept telling him no. He had found out that I was seeing other guys and was insistent that if I see other people, why not him? It got to the point at which he would ask daily. He would text. Facebook message. Run after me between classes. He found out where I lived and started mentioning meeting me near my house. I started dating someone finally and I told this kid flat out. “I’m dating a guy who’s 6'3 and who’s in a frat. Leave me alone or I’ll tell him and his brothers that you won’t leave me alone.” The idea of 60+ guys now being on my side and protecting me quickly sent him packing.
Late 90s, early 2000, I was the only girl in a group of this local fighting game club-type thing. Basically, we’d go to the local arcades after school and play and participate in tournaments and win money. We’d also watch anime at school or at the local anime/comic shop. Now, these weren’t the typical neckbeard types. We were all nerds and we’re all from similar backgrounds in Newark, NJ and two of the guys were friends with my older brother so I always felt safe and comfortable.Except there was a guy in the group that “came in late” (friend of a friend deal). First day in, he saw me, then started talking to another guy in the group, yelling, “is that her?! is that her?!” out loud, as if I wasn’t there. The group had a e-mail list and AIM chat, and he would always derail conversations if I was talking. He once sent an email to us all titled “don’t go to the dentist LMAO” which had (presumably staged) security cam pictures of a dentist putting female patients under and having sx with their unconscious bodies. I told him not to send stuff like that, it made me very uncomfortable (being a survivor myself, but I didn’t share that with the group). He said for me to lighten up. That pretty much told me I needed to stay away from him.I avoid talking to him or making eye contact with him whenever the group met up. This was easy as senior year was coming to a close but then prom rolled around. Apparently, he told the others in the group that he and I were going together. I found this out through someone else. I confronted him while everyone was around so there was no mistaking anything. Told him why was he going around telling people these lies when I never even spoke to him one-on-one.He claimed he “didn’t know” that I didn’t want to go with him(?) because I had no date lined up. And that since he was in the group and didn’t have a date either, that we should go together. Except he didn’t bother asking me at all. I told him I wasn’t planning on going and if I was, definitely wasn’t going to be with him. He said I should, because it “just makes sense”. I said no. And that was the end of that conversation.Later that night, I get a bunch of messages on AIM and AOL e-mail about how much of a bh I was and how I was a ‘dyke” and how I should suck his dk so that I can be a “real woman”.I forwarded the e-mail to my older brother and the other guys in the group. Never heard from him again.
So last May me and my year long bf broke up (on our anniversary) and I was a little bit of a mess. So I get on the bus ride to check out a university about an hour away (took the 95 b line to SFU for any Vancouver ppl)This bus is about an hour, with minimal stops. About 10 minutes in this guy sits next to me but I ignore him cause I’m talking to my rebound booty call. We arrive at the university after 45 minutes and he turns to me and says: “I’m sorry is my phone too loud?” And i was like what no lol.I get off the bus, and he runs to catch up with me to tell me that he stayed an extra 30 MINUTES ON THE BUS TO TALK TO ME. We went to another f*****g city yo and this dude decided to stay on and just stare at me for 30 minutes. Anyways I’m like what haha can you show me where the admissions office is and he’s like oh I’ve never been here before. So I was creeped out but felt bad and he was sorta my age so I was like fine I’ll get lunch with you after my appointment and we did and it was awful and he called me plump and yeah.Anyways I ended up getting pressured into giving my number and he kept texting me and I kept being nice and saying no very kindly then he kept saying “he couldn’t believe I didn’t want to be friends” and tried to add me on snap so I blocked him.TLDR : dude stays on the bus an extra 30 minutes and goes to another city to try to talk to me, gets pissy when I don’t bite.
One of my guy friends in high school used to regularly tell people we were dating. We weren’t. I had a boyfriend. Multiple people literally yelled at me in the hallways for “cheating” on him with the guy I was actually dating. When confronted, he’d always say things like, “I would treat you so much better,” and “I’ll wait until you see how right we are for each other.” Even years later, I’m still so mad at the arrogance and disrespect inherent in the belief that I was too foolish to know my own mind.
Before I realised I was a lesbian, I went out with a dude. He really did seem like a nice guy.That should have been my first red flag.This was the first date and mr nice brought up (factually incorrect) politics, sexuality, and ds.“I’m a bit older than you so if you ever want to do ds we can because I know what I’m doing"On the way from the restaurant to the cab, a d**g dog sniffed him out and I had to stand there, mortified, while police searched him. There was not a second date.
A few years ago I had been invited out for drinks for a friend’s birthday at a neighborhood restaurant/pub that has live music. I had just gotten off work, and I don’t wear my wedding ring to work because of the nature of work I do. I just brought along a maxi dress and some sandals to change into. A guy approached me, and told me I had a nice smile. I thanked him, and tried to turn back to my friends. He kept trying to talk to me in a very flirty manner, like asking me what I look for in a guy, and if I wanted to dance with him. I finally turned to him and said “I’m sorry but I’m married. I just got off work which is why I don’t have my ring on.” He got angry and said “I wasn’t hitting on you, I was just trying to start conversation!” He ranted for a few more moments and sulked away. I didn’t respond to him, I just turned toward my friends.Later that night, like two hours later, we’re leaving. The place is very crowded at that point, and very loud. As I’m almost to the door I hear someone angrily shouting to my left. I turn just in time to see him lunging toward me. Two of his buddies grabbed him, pulled him back, with one of them yelling “dude what the f**k?!?!” I was almost frozen in shock but managed to make my way to the door.
I met the guy on a dating site, where I said I was looking for friends and if it became more, then it became more. If not, then I had new friends, and that’s always good too.He would text me every 15 minutes just to ask what I was up to, even when I told him I was busy, and he’d start to text more and more if I didn’t reply to two.I was in my grandparents’ hot tub, relaxing, and I literally watched my phone vibrate so much it fell off the table, onto a chair, and nearly fell onto the deck.When I checked, he was demanding I talk to him, or he’d k*ll himself. Young noodle spine Harlow didn’t stand up for herself, and I felt awkward trying to put up boundaries.When we hung out, he was very awkward, not talking to me much, not holding my hand in thick crowds because I wouldn’t let him call me his girlfriend, etc.After a day in a big city a few hours away, which he reiterated many times wasn’t a date, he texted me and told me that I owe him nudes because he paid for the gas, the food, and he bought me a $2 blind box for a toy. I told him I could pay half the gas, for my food, and for the toy, but he insisted simultaneously that he was too much of a gentleman™ to accept a ladies’ money, but he also wanted very specific pictures?When I said no, he posted all over my social media and texted mutual gamer friends, telling them that I was a gold digger.He didn’t appreciate me sharing pictures of the texts.
Dated a “nice guy” once. Mainly I felt bad for him, because he didn’t seem to have many friends. I was 16 at the time, and felt like I needed to date someone as that seemed to me to be the social norm. So I invited him over, and we started dating.About 3 months in he started wanting to do sexual stuff. I was really uncomfortable with it, but it made him happy so I didn’t say anything. One day he tried to do something that physically hurt me, and I told him to stop. He started freaking out and saying he wanted to hurt himself if he couldn’t be with me. I didn’t know what to do.I asked for a bit of space, and I switched schools and blocked his number. I haven’t seen him since, but I’m scared to be intimate because I’m worried that if I want to stop, that won’t be an option.
Ugh, I’m an idiot for this one.Apparently, he’d had a crush on me since middle school, because I said hi. No joke. I didn’t even REMEMBER this guy. I’m 20, and go to a friend’s party, because there’s a guy there that I have a crush on. Well, the guy I had a crush on and the guy who had a crush on me were very good friends. So all through this party I’m trying to flirt with my crush, while Other Guy is moaning how nobody likes him or pays attention to him. My friend tells me OG has liked me forever and she invited me for him, because he’s SUCH. A. NICE. GUY.I got guilted into hanging out with him that night, and we started dating. He had type 1 diabetes that he didn’t take care of, at all, and any time I tried taking away his sweets, his mother would scold me.After seven months, I was done. Told him I never wanted to see him again.I have since been contacted three times.The first was about three months after I broke up with him, to tell me he was going into kidney failure and going to die. I went to the hospital and that f****r was off smoking. Fool me once.The second was a year later, and I was seeing someone else, so I brought him with me. My ex told me he was in hospice with heart failure. No, he was there because the county hospital was transitioning him home. Fool me twice.The last time was about two years ago. The guy I had a crush on all those years ago messaged me, said he was at the hospital, OG was dying. I snapped at him, told him this is the third time he’s been “dying”, tell him to get the f**k on with it already, and leave me alone.Only a few weeks after that, I was getting a chest x-ray, and in the waiting room. I was looking at my phone, my eyes down, when a patient gets wheeled in front of me. I don’t look at his face, but I see the tattoos on his fingers. It was my ex.I thought, nope, and walked out.I’m waiting for the next contact.
Not sure if this fits in but I’ll tell it anyways. This was in 2013 but there was a guy I met on Facebook who seemed really cool and we decided to hangout. I was really scared to hangout with him because he seemed really nice and didn’t seem like “the other guys” lol.We got to his house and right off the bat he started acting really weird and didn’t want to hangout, but wanted to fk me instead. He kept saying how my lips were so beautiful and supple. At this point I’m like what the heck is even going on?? He tried to get me to smoke with him but I refused and texted my mom to call me and tell me we had an emergency and to get home ASAP. She called, I put her on speaker, and he took me home.I blocked him on Facebook and didn’t hear from him for about two days. Then my phone started blowing up with messages, “why did you block me??” “I thought you liked me??” “What did I do wrong?” That kinda thing. I decided to ignore it and blocked his number. Later on that night I got a text from an unknown number over and over again calling me a bh, a stuck up whre, and so on. I decided to ignore it and block that number, and then I turned off my phone for the night.Woke up the next day and had 100+ text messages and about 40 missed calls. A bunch of the messages were calling me a b***h or whatever, then he went on to say he had mesothelioma from working with his dad in old houses and that he wanted another chance with me because he was gonna die soon.At this point I was totally freaked out and had a friend of mine message him and tell him to back off. He did. For about a month and a half. I started getting creepy messages again saying I looked so beautiful in my Facebook pictures and to “sleep tight tonight, and pray that I’ll have a tomorrow.” This guy was extremely creepy. I just kept blocking numbers and ignoring them.
There was a guy in my circle of friends… Really deep soul, but also creepy as fk. He had yellow irises and he took a shine to me immediately. We hung out a few times and he always stared at me when he thought I wasn’t looking. One day we went to a water park and he stared at my breasts so indecently that one of my other dude friends told him to knock it off. He proceeded to text me and told me I had the most beautiful breasts he’d ever seen (we were 16) and when I still didn’t respond favorably, he told me that he’d given blowjobs to other dudes before. I don’t know how this was supposed to turn my emotions in his favor, but it was just f*g weird. Eventually, he got the message and hated my guts for the rest of our school career. He used to tell me “I’m a nice guy, I’m rich, I can buy you anything you want.” Really?? When he realized I wasn’t a materialistic st, that’s when he turned on me.
At my last job, I used to go to the local deli for lunch. There was a dude who worked there who complimented my Evil Dead shirt one day. I said “thanks bro” and left.The next day, I went to pick up lunch for me and my coworker, and a pack of cigarettes. He insisted on paying. He refused to take my money. I knew what was coming.He asked for my number in front of a dozen coworkers and customers. It was dead silent. I really didn’t want to give it to him, but he just made a big show of paying for all of my stuff so I scribbled it sloppily hoping he couldn’t read it.I ended up dodging his calls for weeks and had to find a new deli :(.
There’s a guy in my office who sends me these random pings all the time asking about my personal life. “What are your hobbies? What kind of music do you like? What are your favorite workouts?” I’m a nice person, and if I have a free minute, I’ll respond politely and briefly. What makes me cringe is when he tries to make prolonged eye contact all the time and shows up to everything he thinks I’ll be at. I have a boyfriend who I talk about a lot. I guess there’s always gonna be some dude waiting in the wings.
I used to write smut for a living. I absolutely loved it as a job, so I had no shame about it whatsoever. It was great, the pay was good, and it was nice to get money for flexing my creative muscles. Around that time I went on a date with a guy from OKCupid who, when I told him what I did for a living, placed his hand gently on mine and said, ‘Who hurt you?‘The guy just couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that I actually enjoyed it and was good at it, because in his mind any woman who was in any way open about the fact that s*x is actually pretty neat must have been dealing with some sort of trauma.
Used to have a tight group of friends through WoW years ago; we were part of the same guild and played pretty much every day for hours. One day, one of them and I were farming to pass up some time and were having a nice conversation about his fiancee, how excited he was to have a life with her and form a family; wholesome stuff.I was genuinely happy for this dude, but the convo suddenly took a turn and he started talking about his sx life with his wife to be, nothing explicit, but still weird enough to make me worry about crossing a boundary with his fiancee, whom I also knew through facebook. As I’m trying to steer the conversation away from the topic, he suddenly messages me saying “I’d love to have my head between your legs, lol”. Mind you, I was only 17 or so at the time, and he was in his mid 20’s.I didn’t know how to react at the beginning, but told him he was being inappropriate. He made a 180° after that, calling me a st and a bh for leading him on. I was at a complete loss because it wasn’t minutes before that we were talking about his soon to be family. I flipped, called him a douche for doing all this and telling him he was f****d up for making me think I was his pal; he only replied he never said he was my friend and wouldn’t want to be one with a little girl anyway.I stopped all contact with him although I kept playing with the rest of the guys. He acted like nothing was wrong at first, but the others soon noticed I refused speaking to him, so he started posting this sort of story on the guild chat about a knight who had made the princess angry, and didn’t know how to apologize to her. They were all like wtf are you on about, but since I was the only girl on the guild, they soon realized I was angry with the guy, although not the reason. They tried to get me to talk to him and hear him out, but I refused.On hindsight, I should have told him about the creep, but our group was disintegrated for this reason among others. I also tried contacting his fiancee too late, as she blocked me.Shame, with the obvious exception, they were a group of really cool guys.
He took me to a sushi restaurant while wearing a Japanese themed shirt. At said restaurant he had his own chopsticks that he was oddly proud of. We discussed what we’d get. Waitress showed up and he proceeded to order for me. Ok. Weird. Went to a sweet hut and picked out our food and went to order coffee. I guess I was taking too long but he ordered my coffee for me too. He seemed like a nice guy online but in person. Total cringe.
I was friends with this dude I met online. I think we met somehow through fandom (this is relevant for later).He knew at the time I had a boyfriend. He never quite commented on this fact either way, but I had certainly told him.So we don’t actually live terribly far apart. There’s this sci-fi film playing (one of the Riddicks, don’t ask me which anymore) and he asks if I want to go see it together.I’m like sure, who not. So, he comes pick me up with his car, and he’s already sort of huffy that he can’t find the pickup point. We end up being just in time for them movie and I enjoy it well enough. But he’s sort of awkward and distant and seeminly annoyed for no reason. Afterwards I go home, and we don’t really hang much anymore.Turned out later he considered it a ‘date’ and he was annoyed I was treating him like a bro, and thought I was going to leave my several-year boyfriend for a dude I met online and saw once because….I guess he was so great?
I was at a movie night with some friends and this guy who I’d met once before plops down next to me and starts talking. Whatever, I was bored, so I talked to him while scrolling through my phone. He started reading my texts over my shoulder, and does not stop even when I tell him that’s a bit creepy. Less than twenty minutes later, he tells me he has feelings for me. I, being an awkward 17 year old at the time, laughed nervously and didn’t say anything.He starts getting really creepy, sitting way too close, trying to touch my hands and my hair, etc. I was so nervous and afraid of confrontation I didn’t really say anything, so eventually I just stood up and told my friends I was leaving. This guy walks me out to my car begging me to date him. I explain that I was 17 and he was 21, not only is that super illegal but also I wasn’t looking to date anyone. He keeps being pushy and creepy so eventually I just try to get in my car, but he blocks me and says he won’t move until he gets a hug. I was a little scared, so I gave him a hug, drove home, and texted my friends and told them I would never go near him again. My friends pull him aside and tell him to back off. Spoiler alert: he does not.Fast forward a month or so, this creep is texting me almost every day, asking about my life, my brothers, my family, school, etc. I give short, clipped answers and often don’t reply at all. I went to an event where he apparently was working security. He followed me around ALL DAY, and tried to intimidate my other guy friends into leaving me alone. MADE me give him a hug, and would not let me go for close to a minute. Only let me go because he saw my other friends coming to my rescue.The real cherry on top though was when he and my other friends were hanging out and wanted to go see a movie. They were looking for more people to go with and the creep turns to my best (guy) friend at the time and says “Okay, I suppose you have my permission to text myfairdrama.” My friend begs his pardon. The creep says “Oh yeah, we’re dating, we’ve been dating since the movie night, we text all the time, and she doesn’t text other guys,” etc. My friends all tell him no, he is mistaken, I am not interested, and this guy backpedals into “Well she told me as soon as she turns 18 we are going to start dating!” NOPE.After that, we all cut him out of our group but he still didn’t get the message. I was going to college at the time and he kept showing up, saying he was applying for a class, or he was in the neighborhood, and oh look, he just happened to have two coffees, let’s go for a walk.I think eventually either he got the message or my friends stood up for me, because a few months after this entire debacle he just never tried talking to me again. Thank god.
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