When I was a preschooler, the top 2 questions that various adults asked me were always “What do you want to become when you grow up?” (well, yes, a 3 Y.O. kid makes some Napoleonic plans…) and “Who do you love more,dad or mom?” (great, then why not ask which lung is more comfortable for me to breathe with?)
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Asking a teenage girl if she’s on her period any time she shows any emotion
“Why are you playing with [gender specific toy]? That’s for boys/girls.”
Asking if another child of the opposite sex is their boyfriend/girlfriend.
In fact, the tradition of asking children stupid questions goes back as far as thetraditionof lisping and deliberately imitating toddlers' babbling. Well, then somehow it wasn’t customary to pay as much attention to mental health as it is today, so a whole set of meaningless and allegedly ‘cute’ questions was formed that, like myths and legends, are passed down from generation to generation. Up until today, for sure.
Asking a question and rejecting any answer the kid gives unless it’s the adults own opinion.
“why can’t you be more like your brother/sister?”
On the other hand, it seems that we adults sometimes simply don’t have the slightest idea what totalk aboutwith children - especially if we are not their parents, and this is a kind of small talk. True, unlike any small talk between adults, our questions do sometimes look at least strange. To understand this, it’s enough to do one simple thing - just put yourself in the kid’s place and imagine exactly how you will answer this or that question. If you find it difficult to answer, it’s better to avoid asking.
“Why wont you give me a hug?” At a family event where everyone is staring.
“Do you want to burn in/go to Hell?”
When I got my period and they would ask “Don’t you feel like a woman?” or some c**p like that. I was 11 and not amused
A separate category of questions comes from adults who are only superficially familiar with, for example, teens, about their emotions, physicalhealth, or imposing theirown opinions. Yes, you are an adult, you most likely have more life experience behind you - but this in no way gives you (and me too of course) any right to make value judgments and put it in the form of these ‘innocent’ questions. Just think back to your teenage years - and I’m almost sure that a couple of similar stories will pop up in your mind.
I had pretty severe eczema as a child. Refused to wear anything but long sleeves and pants even during hot, humid New England summers because every single time I left the house, at least one grown a*s person would ask, “what’s wrong with your skin?”My mother spent a lot of time correcting grown ups on their behavior. When she got tired of it, she let me do it myself.
“Why don’t you smile more?”
Be that as it may, I’m also absolutely sure that the tradition of askingchildrenweird inappropriate questions will outlive us, and for a long time, and the only thing we can do to make kids more comfortable communicating with us is to simply think about whether it’s worth asking this or that question at all? And, of course, re-read the stories listed here again - perhaps this list will really benefit us.
What are you going to be when you grow up? I’m 67, and I still don’t know 🤷♀️
“Are you a boy or a girl?” leave them the f**k alone
“Do you still believe in Santa?“All you’re doing is making them question Santa.
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“Can I go to the bathroom please?““I don’t know, can you?”
Do you have a boyfriend?
I saw a reporter ask a 13 year old if he wanted to go to the olympics. He straight up told her that the junior nationals and junior worlds were more realistic goals right now. What a solid head that kid has.
anything that relates to the kid having a child when they grow up.had this from my family growing up and it’s probably not a huge thing but asking a young girl if she’s going to have babies when she grows up is so (for lack of a better word) jarring. has made me want to practice abstinence 😐
Parents that have broken up and use the child as a middleman to pass messages and get sneak peek into what’s going on in their ex life.I define children as those who are under 12 years old.
Will you take care of us when we get old
“Can you keep a secret?” Doesn’t matter what the secret is, that’s so confusing and puts a ton of pressure on the kid
If there’s family dysfunction & a kid is going through a rough emotional period with moments of lashing out: “Do you really want to be like your mom/dad when you’re older?”
Do you love your mother or father?
Hi kids, do you like violence?
On the rocks or neat?
Do you like movies about gladiators?
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