That’s what one woman felt because herparentshad stuck her with an old-fashioned name. Instead of taking her anger out on them, she incessantly bullied her sister, whose modern title made her feel incredibly jealous.
More info:Reddit
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Siblings are meant to be each other’s support system and be there for one another, but sometimes, they can be the source of the problem
Image credits:korrawinj / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster, Wren, explained that she had a 10-year age gap with her sister, Ethel, which is probably why their parents had given them such different names
Image credits:freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Ethel hated her “grandma name” because she used to get bullied about it a lot, and so she felt resentful toward Wren, whose name seemed more modern
Image credits:lelia_milaya / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits:Liza Summer / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Eventually, Wren had enough and told her parents about Ethel’s rude behavior, which led to an unpleasant confrontation
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Ethel didn’t apologize to her sister and instead called her a snitch and a spoiled brat for daring to speak to their parents about the issue
What seems to have happened is that the OP’s parents had a change of heart when it came to naming their secondchild. It’s possible that they really loved the style of Ethel’s name, but when they had Wren 10 years later, that kind of non-traditional moniker seemed more appealing to them.
“It’s a modern value to have sibling names that ‘go together,’ but some parents buy into this more than others. Typically, parents end up choosing sibling names that are a good style match naturally, just because they have consistent taste. Anecdotally, parents are more likely to deviate from an established style when they have children of the opposite [gender].”
“We often see parents choose more traditional names for their sons and more modern names for their daughters, or when there is a large age gap between siblings, as in this case. It’s normal for parents’ name styles to evolve over time, so siblings with a significant age gap sometimes end up with names that are not cohesive,” Sophie explained.
According to asurveyof parents in the UK, nearly one-fifth say that they’d choose a different name for their kid if they were given another chance. Some of the reasons for this are because the child’s name is too common or just because it doesn’t “feel right” anymore. Parents might also come to this realization after years of observing how their children’s names are used.
Ethel definitely seemed to struggle with her name and even got bullied for it. Maybe her parents witnessed this and chose to give their second kid a modern-sounding name. This isn’t a unique case because it’s estimated that nearly 12% of peopledislike their name. There are also a few people who feel mad about their title but are okay with keeping it as it is.
Whatever the case may be, instead of finding help for herself, Ethel chose to take out her anger on her younger sister. ShebulliedWren and treated her very badly, all because she felt envious of her sibling’s name. All of this left their relationship extremely strained.
Sophie Kihm said: “it strikes me as extremely rare for a name in and of itself to cause resentment between siblings. Even in this situation, the older sister is dealing with her own insecurities and projecting them onto her younger sister and her name.”
“While it’s normal for siblings to have opinions about each other’s names, parents should not worry that the names they choose for their children will cause interpersonal drama.”
One reason why Ethel’s terrible behavior seemed to pass under the radar was because she specifically behaved rudely toward her sister when adults weren’t around. It also seems like she never told her parents about herfeelingsand instead chose to silently blame them for choosing her “grandma name.”
Giving a child a title is a huge responsibility because there’s no guarantee of how they’ll eventually feel about it. That’s whyexpertssay that it’s important for parents to explain to their kids, early on, the meaning behind their name and what prompted them to choose it. They should also emphasize how much they love the child’s moniker and why it is so special to them.
This will help combat some of the possible negative feelings they might have towards their name. In case the child still hates their title, it might be better to look deeper and see what exactly is causing them to feel that way. In Ethel’s situation, the bullying must have been the main cause of her feeling so angry.
“This doesn’t mean you have to decide every futurechild’s nameat once; this just helps you avoid choosing a style outlier name for your firstborn. If we choose this name, does it rule out any other names on our list? For example, if you name your son Luca, you probably don’t want to name a future daughter Lucy. So if you’d rather have a daughter named Lucy than a son named Luca, avoid Luca for your firstborn.”
It’s surprising that Ethel never took the initiative to legally change her name, which would have probably improved her situation. Adults can opt for aname changewhenever they wish to, but children need their parents’ consent to do so. Although it might be a bit tiresome to fill out all of the paperwork and change her name, it might make Ethel a significantlyhappierperson.
Do you think Wren handled this situation correctly? Would you have done anything differently? We’d love to hear your thoughts.
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